Divorce Me
by JustYourAverageKilljoy
Summary: Emma is ready to take the plunge and marry her long-time boyfriend, Neal. There's just one small problem. She's already married. Accidental Marriage au, Professor!Killian.
1. Chapter 1

Emma Swan hates surprises, this one, in particular, she hates most of all. It wasn't a jump out at a surprise party that she figured out was planned beforehand, it was a " _Hey you want to get married to the guy you've been with for over five years, but you're already married. Surprise!_ "

She's heading to New York, snow hitting her windshield, coming down heavier than she anticipated, divorce papers taking up the passenger seat next to her. She's trying to remember when and how it happened, it had to be when she went with Ruby to Barcelona four years ago to celebrate Ruby showing everyone up with a shiny degree from a two-year college.

A degree she never did anything with but people were so sure she wasn't even going to graduate High School; let alone _College_.

The Barcelona trip was four days of heavy drinking and she can only remember bits and pieces, none of which were her getting married to some random guy. A random guy she now has to go politely ask for a divorce so she can marry Neal and be _happy_.

When she was able to find out where this guy worked, Ruby was happy to find out it was a Professor at the University she went to and happily gave her a list of all the male hotties who seemed like the type to get blackout drunk and marry Emma.

Neal just hopes she didn't sleep with him, or kiss him, or touch him in any way other than a friendly handshake. The likelihood of that…

It doesn't matter if she did, it's not like she remembered or stayed in touch with him, it's not like they spent the next four years seeing each other in secret. She genuinely had no idea she was already married when she went to marry Neal.

* * *

 _Three Days ago_

Ruby bounces over to the coffee table, a piece of paper and pen in hand, smiling more than she should be.

"This isn't funny," Emma says as Ruby sits on the floor, hunched over the table, a wicked grin playing with her lips.

"You're right." She says, wiping the smile away, "It's hilarious." Ruby bursts out laughing. Emma sits, still dressed for her big day at the courthouse, a short and simple white dress. She hates this. Neal is pissed, more pissed than she's seen him in a while. She left him back home to cool off, Henry staying at a friends house until they can get this sorted out. Mary Margaret joins them, sitting on the couch, setting the small tray of hot chocolate down on the table, glancing at Ruby's paper.

"What are we doing?" She asks, handing a cup to Emma and Ruby straightens, writing one more name down.

"So I don't remember everyone, but I wrote down some possible suspects." She says, "We are going to try and get Emma to kind of remember what happened. Maybe if she hears his name, she'll know."

"What if he didn't use his name?" Mary Margaret asks.

"You have to use your actual name on the marriage license, you're married how do you not know this?"

"I was just saying-"

"Okay, I'm going to read it out and Emma, you stop me if one sounds familiar."

"Alright," Emma says softly.

"First one, ready?" She nods, "Will Scarlet?" Emma thinks for a second but the name doesn't ring a bell, so she shakes her head.  
"I don't know if this is going to work."

"Hush." Ruby waves a hand as she scratches out the name. "Robin Locksley." Emma shakes her head again and they go through more names. After pretty much all of them, Ruby's eyes flick down to the last one, lips turning up in an absolutely sinister smile. "Oooohh my goddd."

"What?"

"I hope it's this one." She says, "Emma really try to think about this last one."

"You have to tell her for her to-"

" _Killian Jones_ ," Ruby says slowly, cutting off Mary Margaret. " _K-I-L-L-I-A-N...J-O-N-E-_ Ssseriously the sexiest human to walk the planet."

"That's an interesting name." Mary Margaret says, rolling her eyes when Ruby puts her hand up to shush her, eyes hopefully turned on Emma. Emma sighs, thinking back, the name already sounding familiar, but if he's as attractive as Ruby says, she could have just heard her talking about him.

"Uuumm...okay. He sounds familiar." She says softly, her brain scrambling to find some kind of memory. She remembers someone slipping a plastic wedding band on her finger, one she must have lost by the time she woke up. But that's it, it's enough though, enough for her to know. He's the guy. "Oh god." She puts her head in her hands and Ruby jumps up with an " _Oh my god this is the best thing to ever happen._ "

"Ruby this isn't funny." Mary Margaret says softly, but she's trying desperately to hide her smile.

"Then why are you smiling?"

"Okay, it's a little funny." Mary Margaret confesses, "What the hell were you guys doing that had you so drunk you don't remember marrying someone?"  
"Apparently we were having a lot of fun." Ruby smirks, "Please tell me you slept with him."

"I hope the hell not."

"You're not going to be saying that when you look at his face." Ruby says, "He's beautiful."

* * *

 _Present_

The university is relatively small so she has no problem finding his room, asking for it at the front desk, getting an eye-roll from the receptionist when she asks.

"It's late." She says, setting her bag down but grabbing the binder with the room numbers, "You know I get asked this every few days I should know without looking. What happened, do you want him to _change your grade too?_ " It's how she says it that has Emma raising an eyebrow, hoping he's not one of those professors who can be persuaded by a little flirting from female students to change something important.

"I'm not a student," Emma says dryly.

"Well, you're certainly not old enough to be an angry parent." She says softly, flipping through laminated papers, "Ex-girlfriend?" _Soon to be ex-wife_.

"Can I just get the number?" She says looking outside, the snow is coming down pretty hard and the sky is turning from grey to black.

"Yeah, yeah." She says, running a hand through her dark hair and sighing, "Room A450. Take the East hall and turn left." She says as she writes down the number on a sticky note and hands it over. "Make sure you knock." She wants to ask why, but decides against it, she sticks the note on her folder, says a quick thank you, and heads for his room. Only stopping because Ruby is blowing up her phone with texts.

 **R:** " _Tell him Ruby says hi._ "

 **E:** " _I'm only here for the divorce, Rubes._ "

 **R:** " _Emma_ plleeeaassseee _. He was my favorite!_ "

 ** _E:_** " _Fine._ " She puts her phone back in her pocket and keeps going, glancing at room numbers as she goes. There are cute little stickers on the door, a Christmas tree and snowmen and little snowflakes. (At least he's festive). A little note that says, " _Stop asking for the due date, it's January 8th. No exceptions, you've had two months._ " If that's his handwriting, it's beautiful. She's lifting her hand to knock when her phone beeps again but this time it's Neal.

 **N:** " _Did you get it?_ "

 **E:** " _Working on it._ "

 **N:** " _I can't believe you married someone else._ " She rolls her eyes, she can't believe it either and he's obviously still mad about it, so she doesn't respond. She takes a deep breath and knocks. Nothing, he doesn't answer, doesn't say anything, oh my god he better still be here. She knocks again.

"You're not going to have any luck with that, love, I'm behind you." She jumps, biting her lip to stop herself from screaming and turns around. He reaches around and unlocks the door, stepping around her to go in. "What can I do for you?" He asks, "You don't look like one of my students." She blinks.

Okay, Ruby was right...he's probably the most beautiful man she's ever seen in her life. Dark hair, dark stubble, a black sweater and tight jeans that fit just right and she's probably staring.

"Hello?" He says, raising an eyebrow and then clearing his throat. She shakes her head.

"I'm not a student."

"Hm." He nods, heading for his desk and unplugging his laptop, obviously in the middle of getting ready to leave. "Well, get on with it, love, I have a lot of work to do."

"Get on with what?"

"Telling me why you're here...knocking on my door?" He says, not looking at her, the duh was implied. _Get a grip, Emma._

"Uuuhh…" Suddenly she has no idea what to say to him, how to start this conversation, she's staring at her husband, like a legal husband, actually married...to this person. Does he even know?

"Okay, nice chat." He says, zipping up his bag and slinging the strap over his shoulder, grabbing his keys and heading for the door. "Really pleasant, you have a way with words."

"You're my husband." She spits out quickly as he's opening the door. _Wow, yes, lead with that._ He turns slowly, confusion twisting his features.

"Huh?"

"Did you go to Barcelona...four years ago, by any chance?" She asks, mentally kicking herself for how this conversation was going and he nods.

"Oh." He says, " _Oh._ "

"Yeaahh…"

"Oh, it was legal…"

"You remember?!"

"How can I forget, look at you." He says, "I mean I was pretty drunk, but you left a lasting impression."

"Please tell me we did-"

"No."

"No, you're not going to tell me?"

"No, we didn't sleep together, love. Did you need a little liquid courage before you came here, or are you just slow?"

"Wow, you are so _sweet._ "

"I've been known to be quite charming." Okay, he's pretty, but she already hates him.

"So, you've known for the last four years…"  
"I didn't think it was legally binding, had no reason to look for you, other than the fact that you are adorable."

"I want a divorce." She says with an eye-roll.

"Was it something I said?" He asks with a smirk and she's ready to bang her head against the wall. Should have known it wasn't going to be easy.

"I have the papers." She says, gesturing at the folder, "Just need your signature, please."

"Can't we talk about this?"

"What? No."

"I thought we had something." He's obviously joking, he cannot be serious. Does he even know her name? "What's your name, love?"

"You don't even know your wife's name?"

"Ah, was very drunk."

"Emma." She says, "Emma Swan." She finishes when he raises an eyebrow.

"Emma Swan." He nods, "Yes I definitely remember you." He winks.

"Can you just sign the papers?!" She snaps, thrusting the folder into his hand and he laughs.

"What's the rush, darling?"

"I'm getting married. I'm supposed to be married." She says and he pouts.

"Technically you already are."

"That's why I'm here."

"Seeing someone on the side is definitely grounds for a divorce."

"We're not...I- what?" He laughs, pats the top of her head as he heads for his desk, plucking a pen from the drawer. It's the longest thirty seconds as he flips through the packet.

"Already signed it, Swan, you're more prepared than some of my students." He reads through, "Reasons for filing, constant arguing, extramarital affairs...oh _check._ Lack of intimacy, another _check._ "

"Oh my god." She mutters. "Please just sign it."

"Can I read it first, love, kind of important."

"Fine, just hurry up."

"Married for such a short time and you're already bossing me around."

"We've been married for four years, asshole."

" _Language,_ Sweetheart."

"Stop it with the pet names."

"Okay." He smirks, " _Babycakes_."

"I'm going to hurt you." She glares.

"Domestic violence is not something to joke about."

"Are you going to sign the freaking papers, or not!?"

"I don't think I like your attitude, Swan." He says, smirk deepening, the man obviously thought this was hilarious and she knows now why Ruby liked him so much.

"Please."

"Are you being hounded to change someone's grade again?" Someone else walks in, "Listen, little lady, it doesn't work." He says, brushing past her.  
"What are you still doing here, Will?" Killian asks, actually flipping the packet closed without signing anything.

"I saw your light on and was just about to ask the same thing." Will says, "Who's this?" He gestures towards Emma.

"This is Emma Swan." Killian says, "My wife." He adds and Will actually laughs.

"Ooooh, Barcelona."

"He knows?"

"He was there, love."

"Great." Emma huffs. "Sign. The. Papers."

"What papers?" Will asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Emma wants a divorce."

"Why would you divorce that?" He asks, pointing at Killian. "He is a catch, my friend."

"Glad someone thinks so."

"I hate both of you," Emma mutters.

"You don't even know me, Mrs. Jones." Will smirks and Killian laughs.

"Aw, that's cute. Emma Jones."

"Stop." Emma runs a hand over her face, she should have just called and mailed the papers. What was she thinking actually coming here? She sits at one of the desks, this is going to take a while.

"Has a nice ring to it- oh. Emma Swan-Jones."

"I like that even more." Killian smiles.

"I really want to leave."

"Don't go, Swan, think of the children."

"What?"

"What will little Hope think?"

"Who is Hope?" She asks annoyance showing heavily in her voice. She sighs, "If you say what I think you're going to-"  
"You guys would make cute kids."

"What do you say, Swan, wanna forget this whole divorce thing and make a baby?" Killian asks and she slams her head down on the desk.

"Did you miss the part where I told you I'm engaged?" She asks, words muffled by the desk, "I want that divorce, please." Will pats her back.

"There, there, Mrs. Jones."

" _Stop calling me that._ " She lifts her head, "I just want a divorce so I can go home and marry the man I've been engaged to for five years, please."

"You were engaged when you married me?"

"Wow, low blow Swan," Will says with a disapproving head shake.

"I was drunk!" She yells, "Not like it meant anything."

"Ow. My feelings." Killian clutches his heart, "Was I just a fling to you?"

"It's okay, Jones, plenty of fish in the sea."

"But she's my Nemo."

"Sign. The. God. Damn. Papers. Before. I. Beat. Your. Ass."

"Oh my lord, the mouth on that one." Will gasps, "Do you kiss your husband with that mouth?" He points at Killian, who just shakes his head, very amused by this situation.

She gets up and leaves without another word.

* * *

A/N: I don't know where this came from but I love it.


	2. Chapter 2

"Neal it's not that big a deal." She says the next morning, tousling Henry's hair as she sets a plate of eggs down on the table.

"Not that big a deal?" He questions, "Emma you left without getting the papers signed."

"I'll go back."

"No."

"Why?" She asks, following him back into the living room, he gives her a look at he shoves his foot in his boots. She gives him one right back, "Are you jealous?"

"You married a complete stranger while you were engaged to me. You're engaged to me, we'd be married by now if-"

"I was really drunk."

"There had to be a reason you agreed to it other than the fact that you and Ruby were drunk off your asses."

"Come on-"

"Just get the papers signed, Emma."

"How am I supposed to do that if I can't go get them?" She folds her arms over her chest and he shakes his head, standing and grabbing his keys.

"Just figure it out." He says firmly.

"Would it make you feel better if you come with me?" She asks, might even be easier if he was there. Neal doesn't like to joke around.

"You shouldn't have left them in the first place." He says, "But yes." He presses a kiss to her cheek and then leaves.

* * *

Later when Neal is off of work they get in his car and head over. It's late again, the school had let out hours ago. She tells him he might not even be there.

"This is a nice place." Neal says looking around as they walk down the hallway, "How did Ruby afford this?"  
"Student loans, mostly," Emma says as she turns the corner, his door is open this time and he is here. Does he live here? She knocks on the doorframe.

"I understand Mrs. Martinez but she has to do the work by herself…" Killian is on the phone, writing something on the board and she looks at Neal, who mouths, _That's the guy?_ She rolls her eyes.

"No offense but this is a conversation your daughter needs to have with me," Killian says softly, glancing at them and putting his index finger up. He looks pretty annoyed today and she wonders what they're talking about. They wait a little while and a few minutes later, he hangs the phone up with a heavy sigh and turns toward them.

"You can come in." He says and Neal closes the door when they enter.

"Did you sign the papers?" Emma asks, and he runs a hand over his face, shaking his head.

"Forgot all about them, love."

" _Love?_ " Neals' head snaps in her direction and Killian turns back to the board.

"Cultural thing, lad. Nothing to worry about, I assume this is your fiance?"

"Yes."

"I'm Neal Cassidy." Neal introduces himself.

"Killian Jones."

"Lovely." Neal nods, "Look, can you sign the papers so we can get out of here?"

"Sure." Killian didn't really put up a fight, just set down his marker and went to his desk, no jokes. Is he okay? Why should she care? "Oh dear." He says, rummaging through his bag and checking folders.

"Oh dear, _what?_ "

"It would appear I left them at home."

"Are you serious?" Emma runs a hand through her hair, "Really?"

"Something that important and you left it at home?"

"Wasn't aware you'd be coming back."

"Obviously." Neal snaps.

"Neal." Emma nudges his arm.

"No, this is ridiculous, he should have signed them yesterday when you asked. Instead, he gave you a hard time." It's true, he should have signed them yesterday, but he didn't. She sighs.

"If I give you my contact information, can you mail them when you do sign them?"

"Don't give him your-"

"Do you want the papers or not?" Emma asks, Neal rolls his eyes.

"I don't like this," Neal mutters as she grabs a piece of paper and a pen and starts writing everything down. As she writes it down Neal and Killian start talking. Killian asks about the wedding, what they have planned. And Neal tells him they'd be married by now if it wasn't for him.

"I didn't force her to marry me." Killian says raising an eyebrow, Emma hands over the piece of paper, "thank you, love."

"Will you stop calling her that? It's Emma." Neal snaps.

"Apologies." Killian smirked, "Habit." Neal grabs hold of Emma's arm, a little rougher than she was okay with, but he's upset.

"We're leaving."

"You wanna loosen your grip on her arm there, mate?" Killian snaps at him.

"Excuse me?"

"You're hurting her."

"She's fine." He says, pulling Emma towards the door and slamming it.

* * *

Okay, so that could have gone better. Neal hates him. He complained the whole way home, how could he forget them? How? She stays up with Henry, who must have caught something from school because he has a fever and is pretty much glued to her side all night. He keeps asking for Neal, but Neal is leaving tomorrow on a business trip and needs to sleep.

"Want to try and eat something for me?" Emma asks softly, smoothing his dark hair back, but he just shakes his head, fingers toying with the pages of the book she just finished reading to him. Her phone vibrates next to her with a text message. She doesn't know the number.

 **K:** " _It's Killian, you gave me your number so I figured I'd give you mine. Sorry, I know it's late."_

 **E:** " _It's fine I'm up with a sick five-year-old anyways._ " Emma sighs, turning her attention back to the movie, they're watching _Snow White and The Seven Dwarves_ and they're about halfway through it now. Her phone vibrates again.

 **K:** _"I didn't know you had a kid."_

 **E:** " _You didn't ask_."

 **K:** " _I have two nephews. They're twins._ "

 **E:** " _Oh god, your poor sister._ "

 **K:** " _Brother, actually. I'm sure he's fine. He actually lives near you._ "

 **E:** " _How close?_ "

 **K:** " _The same town, love. Teaches at the school, do you know Elsa? Owns the ice cream parlor with her Aunt Ingrid._ "

 **E:** " _Henry loves that place. Elsa is very nice._ "

 **K:** " _That's my brother Liam's wife. A Very sweet girl. She can sometimes be a little cold though. Small world._ "

 **E:** " _Small world._ " She sets her phone down when Neal comes down the stairs, tilting his head.

"You coming to bed anytime soon?" He asks and she nods.

"In a minute, I want to get him to eat something, he barely ate dinner." She says and Henry groans, not liking the idea of having to eat. She gets him to eat half a granola bar and a little juice before Neal carries him to bed. She's picking up laundry when she finds something sticking out of Neals pants pocket. A pair of black lace panties and she blinks, fingers running over the fabric.

"I hate sleeping without you." He says when he comes back in, "Emma?" She swallows.

"What are these?" She asks, holding the panties up by the tip of her pinky and he shrugs.

"Look like women's underwear."

"Whose?"

"Are you sure they're not yours?"

"I don't…" She shakes her head, she would never wear something like this, do they even count as underwear? What would they cover up? "No. I have never in my life worn something like this."

"Ruby does her laundry here sometimes, maybe they're hers."

"They were in your pocket."

"Emma, are you accusing me of something?"

"I'm holding another woman's thong that was in your pocket, what do you think this looks like?" He sighs.

"They could have gotten tangled up in the dirty clothes." He shrugs, he's calm. Too calm. But Emma nods and tosses them back in the basket, heading for the laundry room. She snaps a few pictures and sends them to Ruby.

 **E:** " _Yours?_ "

 **R:** " _Crotchless? EEEWWWW_ " Emma doesn't respond, loads the laundry machine and goes to bed.

* * *

"I think Neal is cheating on me." Emma says softly, watching as Ruby licks the ice cream off her spoon. They're sitting at a table at _Happy Snowman_ the ice cream place Killian's sister in law runs with her aunt. They're not here because of that, they planned on going before it closed for the winter. Ruby releases the spoon from her lips with a pop.

"Because of the panties?"

"Yeah…"

"I take it they weren't yours."

"That's why I asked if they were yours."

"Ugh. I would never." Ruby makes a face, "Gross."

"He's also been really distant lately," Emma says, glancing at Henry, he's playing with two boys. Ruby nods.

"I'm going to ask you a personal question now." She says, scooping some ice cream.  
"Okay…"

"When's the last time you and Neal had sex?" She asks, raising an eyebrow when Emma actually has to think about it.

"Uuuhh."

"Do you not know?" She makes a face, "God it's been _that long_?"

"Yeah…" She says softly, honestly, he hasn't been all that affectionate with her in a long time. Just the occasional kiss on the cheek.

"Emma you gotta get laid." Ruby whispers, "If it's been so long you genuinely don't remember…"

"If he's getting it from somewhere else, what makes you think he'll want-"

"Not saying you have to get it from him."

"Ruby, I'm not cheating on Neal."

"Is it really cheating if you have sex with your husband?"

"I'm not having sex with Killian."

"Why? Girl, you gotta consummate that-"

"I am not cheating on Neal with Killian," Emma says it more firmly.

"Okay." Ruby puts her hands up in surrender, "Did you confront him?"

"Yes."

"And he said?"

"The underwear must have tangled up with his jeans and got in his pocket." She says with a shrug and Ruby nearly chokes on her ice cream.

"Oh my god and you _believed him?_ " She asks, "Emma…"  
"What am I supposed to do? Kick him out? He's the father of my child."

"Emma, if he's cheating on you...for god sake you are not obligated to stay with him because the two of you have a kid together." Ruby shakes her head. And she's right, she shouldn't feel like she has to stay with him, but she wants Henry to have what she never had.

A real, whole, family.

* * *

Neal is out of town for the next few days, she texts him to tell him Henry is feeling better and he texts back an hour later.  
 **N:** " _That's great, Em. I can't talk right now though, I'm heading to a meeting._ " She sighs, it's really late, what meeting could he possibly be going to? Then again, he could be somewhere where it's earlier. She curls up in a ball and texts him back.

 **E:** " _Have a nice night._ "

 **N:** " _Love you._ " Emma sighs, writing 'I'm lonely' before erasing it.

 **E:** " _I love you too._ " She sets her phone on the end table, turning over and trying to go to sleep, but her phone vibrates and she sits up, thinking it's Neal.

 **K:** " _I know it's kind of late, but I have to ask. Does your fiance always grab you like that?_ " She sighs.

 **E:** " _I'm fine. He was just upset, he wants to get married but we can't._ "

 **K:** " _Is he rough with you when he gets upset?_ "

 **E:** " _It's not like that._ " He doesn't answer for a few minutes and she thinks the conversation is over, but then he actually calls her. She debates whether she should answer or let it ring. She answers.

"What?" She asks.

"I'm sorry I asked those questions, I know your relationship is none of my business." He says, "I will say this though, if he ever grabs you like that again, I'll break his arm."

"It wasn't as bad as you think it was."

"Did it leave a mark?" He asks and she rolls her eyes, it did, she has bruises that match his fingers, but it's not that bad. "I'll take your silence as a yes."

"Killian-"

"How is your boy?" He asks softly.

"Better."

"That's great to hear, love."

"Sign those papers yet?" She asks softly and he goes quiet. "Really?"

"Is my signature the only thing keeping you and Neal from getting legally married?"

"Yes."

"Not really sure I want to sign it, love. Not after the other day."

"It wasn't that bad."

"Emma, I don't care how bad you think it was or wasn't. He _hurt_ you."

"I'm about to take you to court." She says, leaning against the pillows, "I was supposed to be married five days ago."

"Swan, do you want to marry him?"

"Excuse me?"

"Do you want to marry him?" He asks again, softer this time, dead serious. She shakes her head. This is an inappropriate question for him to be asking her.

"Yes." She says.

"He's the father of your son, yes?"

"Yes."

"Emma, when did he propose?"

"Why?"

"Was it before or after you found out you were pregnant?" He asks, "You mentioned the other day you've been together a little over five years, your son is five now. Means you were only together a couple of months before you got pregnant, correct?" She bites her lip. He's right, but this isn't his business.

"Neal loves me."

"Answer the question, love." He says.

"It was after...he proposed after. But that doesn't mean any-"

"He's not around a lot, is he?" Killian asks softly. "Does he go on a lot of work assignments?"

"I don't know what you're implying, but it's none of your business."

"Swan, I think the question you need to ask yourself here is if he's marrying you because he wants you, or if he's marrying you out of obligation."


	3. Chapter 3

Neal wants her to keep trying to get the papers from Killian, but it's been a week and he still hasn't signed them. She's beginning to think he isn't going too.

Mary Margaret is at her desk filling out paperwork when she comes in, letting Henry loose in her friends' classroom. He's feeling a lot better and has so much energy she's not sure she can keep up.

"Hey, Emma." Mary Margaret greets her with a smile, "What brings you here?" She asks, she looks exhausted, it's finally Friday, the classroom still messy from the children.

"Neal couldn't pick Henry up today, so…"

"Oh."

"What was that?" Emma asks, "What do you mean by, oh?"

"Nothing, he's just been pretty busy lately." Mary Margaret shrugs, "Worried he's not pampering you like he should be."  
"I'm pampered enough, thanks," Emma says, watching Henry pulled down a large leatherbound book from the bookshelf in the back. She figured he'd go for the toys, but he's always been a bookworm. "Did you have a better day today?" She asks. Mary Margaret had gotten several angry calls from a mother of one of her students, yelling at her for giving her son a bad grade.

"Eh." Mary Margaret shrugs, "Angry parents come with the territory, I guess." Emma sits down.

"Hey, do you know Elsa?"

"Yes."

"Did you know she's married to Killian's brother?" Emma asks, "Found that out the other day and I forgot to mention it."

"So, she's technically your sister in law. Oooh, you have a brother now."

"Shut up."

"His last name is Jones, right?"

"Yeah," Emma says and Mary Margaret leans back in her hair, thinking for a second and when it finally hits her, she sits up and reaches for her phone.

"Liam?" She questions, raising an eyebrow at Emma and she nods. "I hope he's still here."

"Are you calling him right now?"  
"I work with him."

"Mary Margaret."

"He should get to know his new sister." She says with an innocent smile, "David thought this was hilarious by the way."

"Him and everyone else."

"Except for Neal." She says and then she's turning around, "Liam? Hey, can you come down here for a sec? Are you still here?" She pauses, nodding, giving a few _uh-_ huhs and then she's looking at Emma, "Well do that first. We can wait. You're going to love this." She hangs up.

"I should get going," Emma says and Mary Margaret shakes her head.

"He's coming, please stay."

"I don't think this is a good idea-"

"What did you need?" There's a man at the door, leaning on the doorframe. He has the same accent as Killian, his voice isn't as warm, but damn is he just as pretty.

"Have you met Emma?" Mary Margaret asks and he shakes his head.

"Did I need too?"

"I think you want to meet Emma."

"Do I?" He asks and then he's coming in, "This is Emma, I assume?" He gestures at her and Mary Margaret nods. Emma sighs standing up, not sure how to introduce herself. He shakes her hand, "Liam Jones. Nice to meet you."

"Hey…"

"Tell him, tell himmm."

"Tell me what?"

"She's your sister in law." Mary Margaret does it for her, smiling in amusement when he looks at her with a confused look.

"What?"

"Long story," Emma says softly, and then she tells him, but he doesn't look amused. He looks...really confused.

"Well, leave it to Killian to do something that stupid." He says with a shrug, "Four years and you didn't know?"

"Apparently not."

"Huh." He nods, "And you're filing for a divorce because you're engaged to someone else?"

"Yup."

"Good luck with that." He says, folding his arms over his chest, "Welcome to the family. Hopefully, you're better than the last one." She doesn't ask what he means by that and he doesn't tell her, just starts laughing.

"It's not funny."

"Oh, no." He shakes his head, "This is hilarious. I can't wait to tell Elsa. She teases him enough already." Before she can stop him, he's pulling out his phone and goes out in the hallway. She can hear him laughing from inside the classroom.

"Sorry." Mary Margaret says with a smile as she picks her pen back up, "I couldn't resist."

"I hate you."

He ends up meeting Henry when her son nearly knocks himself over running into him. He's warmer with him, it's to be expected.

He's technically his uncle. That's weird for her to think.

"Elsa wants you to have dinner with us Sunday." He tells her and she politely declines, much to his dismay. He adds on that she can bring Neal if she wants too but she still says no. He really doesn't like Killian and to be completely honest, she's not sure if she likes him either. He gives her his number, and Elsa's, says if she needs anything to just call and then he's gone, off to pick up his kids.

She doesn't tell Neal.

* * *

Not telling Neal backfires really quick when he asks to use her phone later that night and she gets a text.

"Why is Killian texting you about a family dinner on Sunday?" He asks, walking into the bedroom with an annoyed expression, "And why does he want to meet my son?"

"I met his brother today and he invited me." She says.

"And you said?"

"I said no."

"Then why is he-"

"I don't know." She says with a shrug.

"You're way too casual about this." He tosses her phone to her and folds his arm over his chest.

"If it's any consolation, he invited you too."

"Yeah, great. So I can sit there while you get along with your shiny husbands shiny family."

"It's just dinner, Neal."

"It's just dinner, Neal." He says mimicking her expression, "Have you seen the man? Ninety-five percent sure he could be a model."

"I'm sorry am I engaged to a five-year-old?" She asks, "You have nothing to worry about."

"You know you keep saying that but I'm beginning to think that I do." He says, "What's so great about him that had you marrying him without even thinking about _me_?"

"I wasn't thinking at all, Neal."

"Exactly!" He yells, "How do you get so drunk you don't even think about your own fiancee? I should never have let you go on that trip!"

"You're the one who didn't want to go with me."

"We had a one-year-old, someone had to watch him."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I mean it was a little irresponsible of you to go halfway across the world and get blackout drunk with your friend when you had a baby at home."

"Just because I have a kid doesn't mean my social life has to stop."

"I still should have put my foot down and said no."

"I was going with or without your permission, Neal."

"And now look. We can't get married because you were an idiot." He snaps at her and she gets up.

"Excuse me?"

"You married someone else, Emma! Am I not allowed to be upset!?" He shouts at her. He's allowed to be upset, she's upset too.

"All of this over a family dinner?" She asks and he shakes his head.

"Go, not like you'd know what to do with a family anyways." He says. She sits back down on the bed, that hurt.

"Maybe I will."

"Fine."

" _Fine._ " She says. He's being a child.

"He's calling you...I know he is, at least every day. You try to hide it but you're not very good at it."

"Maybe I should take some pointers from you, Mr. Pocket Thong." She snaps and he throws his arms up.

"Again with the stupid underwear!?"

"They were in your pocket!"

"I told you I don't know where they came from!" He yells, "You still don't believe me?"

"They weren't mine, they weren't Ruby's, whose were they, Neal?"

"Are you going to believe Ruby over me, the girl dresses like a prostitute!" He yells loudly, if they keep going like this they'll wake Henry up, "She probably doesn't even remember buying them, let alone _wearing_ them."

"Ruby doesn't wear crotchless panties."

"Do I want to know how you know that?"

"Oh my god." She says, "Why can't you just-"

"What do you want me to say, Emma? Am I cheating on you? Because I'm not."

"Right."

"You're not going to believe a word I say, are you?" He sighs, "Whatever. Enjoy dinner with your husband."

"Neal." She calls for him, "Where are you going?" She yells as she hears him putting his shoes on.

"Out!" He yells back and she rolls her eyes.

"It's almost midnight!"

"I'd rather be outside than in here right now."

* * *

He doesn't come back or answer her calls, or texts her back. She has no idea where he is and by the time Sunday rolls around, she's not sure that she cares.

 **E:** " _At the very least let me know you're not dead."_ He doesn't answer and she has Ruby on the lookout for him. He has to be staying somewhere. Elsa tells her to wear something nice and she borrows a dress from Ruby. One of her modest ones, a red sweater dress and she gets Henry ready to go.

She's pretty sure this is a bad idea but since Neal isn't here, she can't leave him at home. Liam's place is pretty much the perfect family home, fenced in, a big backyard, stone walkway, and bricks. There are children's toys out on the lawn and a swingset in the back. It's a large brick house and looks incredibly cozy. Apparently, they do this every Sunday, Elsa's sister and her boyfriend join them too.

Well, guess she's apart of it now.

She knocks on the door, Henry's twisting her engagement ring around her finger, watching the diamond sparkle in the porch light. A blonde woman opens the door, wearing a pale blue dress that makes her eyes pop, and a single braid falling down her shoulder.

"You look nice." She smiles, "I'm Elsa, it's so nice to meet you." Emma introduces Henry and he smiles and says hi.

"Well, hello," Elsa says with a laugh and then gestures for them to come in. The inside looks like it was ripped straight out of a Martha Stewart catalog. A large living room with white furniture and pretty hardwood floor, there's even a fireplace casting a soft glow on the room. There are pictures on the mantle and covering the walls. There are even a few Christmas decorations scattered about. Not enough to be overpowering though, Thanksgiving hasn't passed yet. She hears laughing from the kitchen, a female's giggles and Killian's voice carrying down the hall.

"I should introduce you to everyone." Elsa smiles, leading her down the hall once she gets her and Henry's coats hung up. "You already met Liam, my husband, and you definitely know Killian." She smirks, "The girl over there is my sister Anna." She says and the girl jumps down the from the kitchen counter, brunette braids bouncing around her shoulders. She's wearing a purple dress and black heels. She waves at her. There's a man next to her, who must be her boyfriend. He has blonde hair that looks like it could use a trim and a white shirt with dark jeans.

"That's Kris, Anna's boyfriend." Elsa says, "Annnd where are my kids?" She asks looking around.

"Playroom, love," Liam says from the counter, his back turned to them. Elsa leads her back down another hall.

"You'll love them, Henry, they're about your age."

"He might already know them from school," Emma says softly, but Henry's excited about it. He likes to make friends.

"That's possible." Elsa smiles and then opens a door and there are two little boys sitting on the floor, playing with some toys. Dark curly hair and bright blue eyes, she can't tell if they look more like Killians or Elsa's. "This is Greyson." She says, patting the top of his head, he's wearing a dark green sweater and then she pats the other boys head, "This is Thomas, but he likes to go by Tommy. What do you say, boys, can Henry play with you until dinner is ready?"  
"Yes!" Greyson is already grabbing Henry by the hand and dragging him over to the sea of toys, chattering about something.

"Well, that was easy." Elsa laughs and then she shuts the door, "He'll be okay, they're sweet boys." She leads her back to the kitchen.

* * *

Dinner is pretty good, and she finds that she really likes Elsa. She wonders why she never really talked to her before, considering how long she's lived here and how much she's been to her ice cream shop. She teases Killian relentlessly but he always has a witty retort ready and it's an amusing banter.

She's sitting on the back patio with Killian. It's cold but she doesn't mind. He's not as bad as she thought. He's giving her a lesson in Greek Mythology, being way too dramatic about it and it's making her laugh.

"Wait...but...he-" She laughs, "So he took it without permission?"

"Odysseus was not admired for his thievery, love, he was admired for his quick thinking while under pressure."

"But he still stole it."

"I didn't say he was a good role model." He laughs. She shakes her head, checking her phone again. Neal still hasn't messaged her back and her smile falters for a minute. "Is he still ignoring you?"

"Yep." Emma says softly, "We got into an argument the other day."

"May I ask what it was about?"

"You, actually. He used my phone for something and you texted me about tonight."

"And he's angry about that."

"He doesn't like it when other guys pay attention to me."

"Is it because I'm pretty?" He asks with a wink and she laughs, nudging him in the arm.

"You're so full of yourself." She says, "But yes, I think it's because you're pretty."

"So you admit that I'm pretty."

"Shut up."

"Some might say attractive." He says, "I had a student once who said I was sex on legs."

"Was her name Ruby?" She asks because that is something she would say, "Ruby Lucas."

"Ruby Lucas. Yes, I believe it was. You know her?"

"She's one of my closest friends. I went to Barcelona with her."

"Oh." He nods, "She was always fun to have in class."

"I bet." She says softly, "Can I ask you something. It might be kind of personal."

"Sure."

"When I met Liam, he said he hopes I'm better than the last one." She says softly and he straightens, fingers tightening around his glass. Noticeably more tense, "What was he talking about?" Killian doesn't answer her right away but he eventually does, sighing.

"Um...I was married before."

"Oh."  
"She and Liam didn't get along. I think the only time she was ever really nice to him, that they were nice to each other, was when she died."

"She died."

"Car accident. She was alive for a few days after, barely. She was so drugged up though, it was hard to understand what she was saying." He shrugs, "Her name was Milah."

"How long ago-"

"You know I went to Barcelona but you don't know why. It was about six months after, Will wanted me to...get out and try and have a good time. Apparently, I had a _great_ time."

"I'm sorry."

"It's alright. It was a while ago." He says softly. Just then they hear a crash and then the back door is slamming open.

"LIAM JONES!" Elsa shrieks, scolding him as he bolts from the house, but she's fast on her heels and catches up quickly. "You get back here!" There's a large red stain on the front of her dress and they get the scent of wine when she runs by, Killian bursts out laughing when Elsa jumps up on Liam's back and they both fall into the snow, a laughing mess.

"You got wine on my dress, you asshole!" She laughs, straddling his hips.

"I'll fix it, I'll fix it." He breathes, "Here." He grabs a handful of snow and smears it down the front of her dress. Earning himself a horrified look from his wife.

"THAT'S _NOT_ FIXING IT!" She shrieks shoving him down.

"Is it like this all the time?" Emma asks, but she's laughing right along with them.

"Pretty much." Killian says, "Welcome to the family." She watches them get into a full-blown war, chucking snow at each other and then Anna comes to the rescue, hopping up on Liam's back like Elsa did and soon enough Kris is there.

"Go for the legs!" Killian shouts, "Anna behind you!" It's too late, Kris grabs her by the legs and sends her down with a squeal. "Told you."

"I don't see you helping!" Anna shouts from the ground and he laughs.

Okay, she had her doubts coming here but this turned out to be an amazing night.


	4. Chapter 4

Neal still isn't answering any of her calls and she's probably left a million voicemails. Ranging from angry yelling to telling him not to come back, to begging him to come back. Henry doesn't understand why he isn't here and she doesn't know what to tell him, but Ruby figured out where Neal was and told her.

So, while Henry is in school she heads over to Grannys bed and breakfast to try and talk to him. She doesn't know what to say to him, other than to ask him to come home and she'll forget all about the underwear and she'll distance herself from Killian, leaving the only interaction between them to her getting him to sign the divorce papers.

Granny gives her a look when she asks what room he's in but she tells her nonetheless and as she walks down the hallway, her pace speeds up when she hears the muffled sound of a giggle.

Neal doesn't giggle.

She pounds on the door and after a few seconds the door opens and there he is.

"I'm sorry." Emma says softly, "I know this bothers you-"

"Can we talk about this later?" He asks his voice noticeably breathier and she see's that he's shirtless, a sheet wrapped around his waist and he holds the door so she can't see in.

"Who is it?" A woman asks and Emma's eyebrows shoot up.

"Who is that?" Emma asks.

"Uuuuhh-"

"Is there a woman in there?"

"Em-"

"Well, I see that I'm interrupting something...so I'm gonna just...go." Emma turns down the hallway.

"Emma wait," Neal calls for her but she doesn't turn around. Honestly, she should have been expecting it, but no amount of expecting it made it hurt less. He's pretty much chasing her down in the parking lot, "Emma...wait, Jesus Christ slow down." He catches up, catches her by the arm and turns her around. "I know what it looked like." She folds her arms over her chest. Really looking forward to how he was going to explain his way out of this one.

"You left your girlfriend upstairs," Emma says softly.

"She's not my-"  
"Cut the crap, Neal." She snaps, "You were naked."

"I was not, I was half naked."

"Oh yeah, that makes it better."

"It doesn't." He says softly and then nods, she caught him. He can't lie and tell her it's not what it looked like, he can't explain his way out and he knows that. So he just admits it, "It just happened, Em."

"How long?" She asks softly, "How long have you been…"

"A year…"

"A year?"

"Don't look at me like that, Emma, you were married for four." He says, "And don't tell me you didn't know. How do you not know."  
"I may have been married but I didn't know and even if I did, I wasn't actively sleeping with him behind your back."

"You expect me to believe that you didn't?"  
"Don't twist this around on me. I just caught you with another woman!" She yells, "And I didn't sleep with him."

"How do you know that?"

"He told me we didn't."

"And you're gonna believe him becaaauuse-"  
"Because he has no reason to lie to me." Emma says softly, "Who is she?"

"Em-"

"No, tell me. I think I deserve to know who you've been sleeping with for a year."

"Tamara."

"Tamara?!" Emma's voice breaks and she turns away quickly so he doesn't see that she's crying. Tamara, she came to Emma's baby shower, she invited Emma and Neal to her Christmas party, she was the first person to see her after she had Henry at the hospital. She was a _friend._

"Emma, I-"

"Don't touch me." She snaps when he reaches and turns around to look at him. He looks...sorry. Like he wasn't expecting her to find out this way.

"I was going to tell you." He says softly, "I just...didn't want to hurt you."

"What would have hurt more, you being honest and telling me or me catching you?" She asks and he nods.

"I...it just happened."

"Stop saying that."

"Listen…" He says softly, "You know when...you meet someone and it's like...suddenly you can breathe?" She gives him a look, "I used to feel that way about you."  
"Used to-"  
"I had dreams...I had aspirations, Em. I wanted to go to law school. You know this, we talked about it. I wanted out of this town and I wanted to take you with me but…"

"But what?" She knows what he's going to say before he says it.

"You wanted Henry to grow up here...and I...I thought about breaking it off with you. I thought about taking a break and doing things that I dreamed about but then you got pregnant and I-"  
"You were planning on breaking up with me?"

"Not forever."

"So, all this time…" She shakes her head, "You've just been, what? Putting up with me? Did I ruin your life because I got pregnant? It takes two people to make a baby."  
"I know."

"Why didn't you just leave?" She asks.

"Because that would have been...I couldn't leave you. Not like that."

"He was right." She says softly. He gives her a look but she shakes her head, "So, you wanted to marry me...because of Henry? Being with me was an obligation."

"Don't say it like that-"

"Do you even love me?"

"Of course I do, Emma."

"Not enough, right?" She asks. She doesn't let him say anything else, presses her engagement ring in his palm, gets in her car, and leaves.

* * *

She keeps it together long enough to pick Henry up from school. Mary Margaret doesn't say anything when she see's her but she notices something is off. She can tell by the way she's looking at her. She shakes her head when she opens her mouth to ask if she's okay and then she takes Henry home.

She doesn't expect to get a call from him.

"Hello, love." Killian says, "Thought I'd let you know that I have the papers and they're signed." She doesn't say anything, just hangs up.

"Was that Neal?" Ruby asks, taking a break from playing with Henry, walks over and sits on the couch.

"No." Emma says softly, "Killian signed the papers." Ruby nods.

"Okay." She whispers, looking at Henry. He's sitting at the kitchen table, drawing and Emma starts to shake, "Emma if you want to cry...you can I won't judge." She says softly, brushing a curl behind her ear.

"No." She shakes her head. Ruby knows, she didn't even tell her. But she knew.

"Emma-"

"I can't…"

"Okay." Ruby jumps up, grabbing her car keys, "Up."

"Huh-"

"Henry grab your coat." Ruby smiles at him, "How would you like to spend the night with your favorite teacher?"

"Ruby-"

"I won't say anything." She says quickly, "Just get in the car." And she does, only because if she doesn't, Ruby has been known to drag people by their ankles and she's not sure she wants that. So she grabs her and Henry's coat.

After dropping Henry off, Mary Margaret is confused but she and David agree to watch him for the night. Emma promising to tell them what's going on as soon as she can form it into words. Ruby is quiet as she drives, not telling her where they were headed but she knows where they're going, she recognizes the way the car bounces on the bumpy roads and the swift corners and before she knows it; Ruby is parking the car in the University parking lot, pulling her out of the car.

She doesn't even need to ask where his room is, heels clicking against tiled floors, Emma's hand in hers.

He doesn't look up when they go in, the door already open. He's reading a book, feet propped up on his desk. He hears them, sticking a bookmark in his book and glancing over. Emma looks at the board. _Introduction to Theology_ written in pretty handwriting on it and a bunch of stuff she doesn't understand.

"It's weird being back here," Ruby says from beside her, looking around.

"Is it?" Killian asks, "What-" Ruby points at her.

"Didn't trust her to drive herself." Ruby says softly, "I'm gonna go see what Scarlet is up to, bye for now." She winks and then she's out the door, closing it behind her. Emma sways a little, more aware now of how she was using Ruby to keep herself up. She leans against one of the desks and she doesn't know that he's looking at her until he's right in front of her.

"You're not okay." He says softly, instead of shaking her head like she wants to, she just looks at him.

"Nope." She whispers and then he's reaching for her, "Don't."

"Okay."

"I don't…" She swallows, "If you touch me I'll cry and I don't want to do that right now, so if you could just give me the papers. I can go home."

"You're shaking, love." He says softly.

"I don't care."

"I care." He says softly, "I'm not going to ask you what happened, but if you want to talk about it you can."

"Nope."

"Okay." And then he's reaching up and brushing a tear from her cheek. Is she crying? She didn't notice. She wipes her eyes, looking at the door, hoping Ruby comes back soon. "Will isn't here so she'll probably be back soon."

"Okay." She nods.

"Did Neal do something?" That's it, that's all it takes. She breaks right in front of him, turns into a sobbing mess. "Wow, okay I'll take that as a yes." And then he's reaching, doesn't give her a chance to push him away this time, he pulls her into his arms.

"You were right." She says softly, pulling back but not enough for him to let her go. "He didn't want me. I was just an obligation."

"I hate that I was right." He's brushing her hair back and she should step away from him, but he's so warm and she can't bring herself to do it.

* * *

Ruby doesn't come back and she has no idea where she went. So, she sits at a desk, watching Killian flip through a book, highlight, and then write things down on a piece of paper from his desk. His eyes glancing at her every now and then, probably making sure she isn't crying again. It's getting dark outside and she checks her phone to see if Ruby has at least texted her. She hasn't.

"I'm beginning to think she may have forgotten you." He says, writing something down. It doesn't sound like something Ruby would do, but the more she thinks about it, the more it starts to sound like something Ruby _would_ do. She brought her here after she dropped Henry off to stay somewhere _overnight._ She did leave kind of fast. Emma runs a hand over her face and rubs at her eyes. _Damnit, Ruby._ Her phone beeps and makes her jump, speak of the devil.

 **R:** " _Hey Em, something came up at the diner and I had to leave you- I know, I know, you can yell at me later. In the meantime, have fun with my favorite professor. ;)_ " Emma rolls her eyes, not even bothering to reply. She hates her friend sometimes.

"Uh…" Emma says softly, her voice is hoarse from crying but he looks up, setting his pen and book down. "It's getting late and...Ruby kind of left me here. I'd hate to ask but-"

"I'd be happy to escort you home, love." He says, and then he's grabbing his things and she instantly feels bad.

"I don't want to rush you. I'm fine with waiting, not like I have anywhere to be."

"I was done anyways." He shrugs with a smile and goes about gathering his things. "When was the last time you had anything to eat?" She shrugs, walking next to him across the parking lot. They went out a different door than she and Ruby came in, to a designated lot for students and teachers. It was a little bigger and there weren't a lot of cars.

"A couple hours." She says softly.

"I know a place."

"I'm fine." She says quickly as he opens the car door for her and then sets his things in the back, going around to the other side. He gives her a look. "I'm not really in the mood to eat, anyways."

"You telling me that makes me want to get you to eat something even more."

"Kil-"

"Emma, I will feel very bad if I send you home and you starve to death."

"I highly doubt-"

"Hush, Swan." He says and she stops fighting him on it. The man was going to feed her whether she wanted him to or not, might as well just go.

He takes her to a cafe that she's surprised is still open at this hour and judging by the way the cashier looks at her, she probably looks like hell.

She's been crying for hours, she's not going to look great. She ignores her, throwing her hair up into a messy bun and sighing. He doesn't let her pay for it, which she hates because this feels way too much like a date.

Nevermind the fact that they're still married.

"Elsa likes you," Killian says, taking a sip of his tea.

"I like Elsa."

"Anna is a little iffy, but she could just be jealous."

"Is she the jealous type?"

"Only when it comes to Elsa and I guess she's more protective. You should have seen it when Elsa and Liam first got together."

"I take it she didn't like it?"

"Nope." He tilts his head, "Emma you're not eating."

"I told you I wasn't in the mood." She says softly, her fork pushing it around the plate, it's just a salad. She figured if she was going to eat something, might as well be easy on her stomach. Despite the fact she hasn't eaten in a while, she really doesn't feel hungry.

"Please?"

"I'm not hun-"

"Yes, you are."

"You can't know that." She says, "Just by looking at me?"

"Eat the damn salad, Swan."

* * *

She still feels a little bad when he stops in front of her house, there wasn't any traffic so the travel time wasn't terrible. He still went a little out of his way to get her home safely and she has no idea how far his place is from hers.

Also, he kind of insists on walking her to her door.

Maybe chivalry isn't dead.

"Um…" She shrugs, "Thanks."

"No need to thank me." He smiles softly. She unlocks the door, doing her best to be quiet when there's no need to be. Neal doesn't live here anymore, and Henry isn't home. She sighs. The weight of it is hitting her again, resting itself on her shoulders like it belongs there. Neal is probably fine, having a good time with his...whatever she was, is it bad for her to think maybe he might be hurting too? Maybe not to the extent that she was, but just a little?

"Be careful on your way home…"

"Eh, the roads aren't too bad." He shrugs, "I'll be fine."

"Well, you better be. I still want that divorce." She's joking, mostly. Besides, he already signed them but it's not really final until she can turn them in. "So like, don't die."

"Even if I did, you'd still be off the hook."

"Hm?" She raises an eyebrow, maybe she's too tired to get it or to process it but he shakes his head.

"Til death do us part?" He says softly and she nods. Oh, that could be one way to do it.

"I want the divorce, but I don't want it that bad." She says but she laughs anyway and he rolls his eyes.

"I mean, I don't know you could be a psycho. You know one of those wives who stabs her husband while he sleeps."

"I'm not cold." She says, "Obviously I'd make it look like an accident. Or natural causes. Pick your poison."

"I don't think I like the idea of you being locked up so if you could, natural causes would be fine."

"Okay, so if I killed you...you'd be okay with me getting away with it?"

"I'd be a little irritated with being dead, Swan, but I think if it was by your hand I'd be fine with it."

"That's a weird thing to say."

"This is a weird topic, love." He sighs, "Besides, you're too cute for jail."

"Always the cute innocent ones that getcha."

"And that's my cue to leave." Killian says, "Have a good night, Emma." She says goodbye and he leaves, she hears his car pull away as she closes the door.


	5. Chapter 5

Explaining what is going on to Henry would be a hell of a lot easier if Neal were here to help. She hasn't seen him since she left him in Granny's parking lot and he hasn't called. She knows he's been here, his things slowly disappearing from the closet and around the house. He picked specific times she wouldn't be home to move his things out. Something she's grateful for, but not grateful for all at the same time. It's weird. They've been together for so long and they've had fights but they've never actually broken up.

A break up has never been something Emma had to deal with, not for herself. Does it hurt like this all the time? She just wishes he was here or would at the very least, call. They need to talk about what to do with Henry if Neal plans on staying in his life, does he limit himself to weekends? Would Emma get Henry for a week and then Neal gets him for a week? She doesn't know what to do.

Emma puts her head in her hands after another call goes to voicemail, leg shaking in frustration as she tries to figure out where he could have gone. He's no doubt with Tamara, she has a small two bedroom apartment up in Boston. Henry watches her from his place on the floor. Eyes inspecting her, he knows something is wrong but he doesn't understand and if he asks where his father is one more goddamn time, the next time she see's Neal she's kicking his ass.

"Want to bake cookies with Elsa?" Emma asks softly and he tilts his head. She sends a text back, biting her lip. It was a really random request, but Elsa probably heard about what happened, pretty much everyone had by now, and was just trying to soften the blow. Emma sighs, glancing at the divorce papers on the table. Would it even matter now if she didn't turn them in? It's not like she has too now. She should still do it, what if he meets someone and eventually wants to marry them? She runs a hand through her hair.

"Mommy?" Henry asks from the floor.

"Yeah kid?"

"Why are you crying?" He asks softly and she blinks, again she doesn't notice she has tears rolling down her cheeks. She really needs to get a hold of herself.

"I'm just so happy to go bake cookies with Elsa." She smiles, wiping at her eyes. She doesn't know if he bought it, but he smiles too and it's enough to get her to pull herself together.

She leaves the papers on the coffee table.

* * *

She doesn't expect to see Ruby sitting at the island, phone pressed to her ear. Another person she hasn't seen since the day she left Neal. Maybe that's why her smile twists into a sinister grin as she pats the seat next to her. Henry runs off with Tommy and Greyson, baking cookies forgot the second he see's them. Elsa gives Ruby a look and pours the three of them some coffee.

"So, Emma. How are you?" Elsa asks, taking her seat across from them, having moved to the smaller table so they could sit together.

"Fine." She says softly.

"Yeah, she is," Ruby smirks and Elsa raises an eyebrow. Emma rolls her eyes.

"Ruby, what are you doing here?"

"Elsa invited me."

"Uh-huh." Emma must look confused because Elsa explains further.

"She looked pretty bored earlier and we started talking and here we are." Elsa shrugs. Ruby claps her hands together and turns to Emma.

"Did you have fun with Killian the other night?" She asks and Elsa's head snaps in her direction. Judging by the look she was giving her, she got what Ruby was saying almost instantly.

"We didn't...it wasn't...uh." Emma shrugs, "It wasn't like that."

"So you didn't hook up for a hot rebound?"

"No, Ruby."

"Damn, my plan failed." Ruby's shoulder slump next to her, "Next time." She pats the top of her head.

"Thanks for leaving me stranded like that, by the way."

"You're welcome." Ruby smiles, "Obviously I was hoping you'd take him home and let him ravish you bu-" Ruby's interrupted by the sound of Elsa choking on her coffee.

"Stop, stop." She says waving her hands, "Please _stop_. I'm begging you."

"Sorry." Ruby laughs, "It's probably weird for you to think of him like that." Elsa nods frantically.

"Pretty weird." She says quickly. "Dial back on the dirty talk about my brother in law."

"It's kind of hard, have you seen him?"

"He is pretty." She smiles, "But uh...I don't want to hear it. So, if you could just...not. That'd be great."

"Yes, ma'am," Ruby says with a smirk. "Okay, so Emmy Em, what did you guys do?"

"Nothing."

"So he just drove you home and that was it?"

"He made me eat something first."

"So he took you out to dinner?" Ruby perks up instantly and Elsa sips at her coffee, watching but not contributing much to the conversation right now. "First date?"

"Wasn't a date."

"Sounds like a date, what happened when he dropped you off?" She doesn't want to tell her that he walked her to the door because that just makes it sound even more like a date. Emma shrugs. Eventually, she does tell her though.

"Aaaawww-"

"Stop," Emma says softly.

"I think I married the wrong Jones," Elsa says softly rubbing the back of her neck and sighing. Ruby turns to her.

"Where is Liam?"

"Over here." Liam says as he walks into the kitchen, "Elsa where did you put the screws?" He asks as he heads for the counter. He glances at Ruby and then gives Elsa a look.

"The third drawer, by the silverware," Elsa says.

"Darling I thought we talked about this. No more strays."

"But look at how cute she is." Elsa pouts, "Can we keep her?"

"She may be cute but no." He shakes his head, grabbing the packet of screws and the closing the drawer walking over to her, "Aaaand before you ask why." He leans into her ear, "I heard the comment about you marrying the _wrong_ Jones." He growls it, low in her ear, letting her know she's going to regret that later. It has her both blushing and squirming in her seat.

"Get out." Elsa waves him off and he laughs as he leaves. "Sorry," Elsa says.

"Should we leave?" Ruby asks, "Because, _damn_."

"You're fine right here." She smiles. Ruby makes a joke about how she's surprised they don't have more kids than they do, because how the hell does she manage to keep her hands off of him and it has Elsa laughing so hard, she's almost crying.

"There's a thing called birth control, Ruby."

"Oh, you guys do have a lot of-"

"About as much as you can manage with two small boys." She shrugs and then clears her throat, "Which isn't much." She says softly.

"Emma knows the struggle." Ruby pats her shoulder, bringing Emma back to reality. She does, not that Neal spent much time initiating it, and when she tried he usually brushed her off.

"Not really." Emma says softly, "But I guess before he uh…"

"Ew, I forgot. Scumbag." Ruby makes a face, "I never did like him."

"I know," Emma says softly.

"At least now you don't really need the divorce."

"Doesn't mean I don't want it."

"Why?"

"Ruby, I don't even remember when it happened, also we're just friends. So."

"Married friends." Ruby points out.

"Best kind of friend." Elsa smiles, "I get it. A girl wants to remember the biggest day of her life."

"Have you met Emma?" Ruby asks, "Most girls spend their childhood planning their own wedding, this one spent hers planning her funeral." She wasn't wrong. Emma never really understood the whole...hype of it all. The fluffy white dress that probably cost more than her house and the decorations, the elaborate proposals. It just all seemed like too much, too expensive, plus she never thought she'd find someone she'd want to marry, so she never gave it much thought.

"In my defense, my childhood wasn't bright and shiny," Emma says softly and Elsa looks at her like she understands, but she doesn't say anything.

"I know, princess," Ruby says softly, brushing a piece of hair behind her ear and sighing. Maybe one day, she'd want that, the dress and the flowers, a church surrounded by all her loved ones.

"Anyways." Elsa says, standing, "I should check on the boys." They go with her as she heads for the back door, watching them play outside. Henry is smiling more than she's seen him do in a while and it makes her heart swell up. Liam is on top of the shed, nailing the roof, something he probably should have done before it snowed. He catches Elsa's eye and sends a wink her way.

"Where did you find him?" Ruby asks, eyeing the way he had his sleeves rolled up to his elbows and she's pretty much drooling.

"He came into the shop one day." Elsa shrugs, "At first I thought he was flirting with Anna, boy was I wrong."

* * *

By the time Neal calls her back, she's getting Henry ready for bed, he's exhausted from playing with Elsa's boys all day and she barely gets him in his bed before he's asleep. She misses his call, but he picks up right away when she returns it.

"Emma." He says, "I'm sorry, I've been busy."

"Too busy to visit your own kid?" She asks, slipping her shoes off and setting them by the door. He sighs heavily at that.

"Low blow, Emma."

"He's been wondering where you've been."

"I know, Em." He snaps.

"Don't snap at me. You're the one-"

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry." He says, his voice is gentler now, "And you haven't been home. I left my key on the coffee table, most of my stuff is out now, the rest you can do whatever you want with."

"We need to talk about Henry."

"I'm moving out of town." He says, and he doesn't have to say it, but she knows he's moving in with Tamara. "If you want, it'll be easier if I take him on the weekends. It'll be a long drive back to town to get him to school anyway."

"The holidays are coming up." She says softly.

"I can take him for Thanksgiving, and then you can have him Christmas Eve if I can get him Christmas morning."

"You've thought a lot about this…"

"I've had a lot of time."

"I thought you've been busy."

"Emma." He says, "Work with me, here."

"Fine, yeah. That works…" She says softly and she's writing it all down, so if he goes back on it later, she can show him. "So, you're living with Tamara now?"

"I never said that."

"I just kind of assumed." She shrugs, "It's fine...if you are."

"Yes, we're living together." He says softly, "I mean it, I never meant to hurt you."

"I just wish you would have told me sooner."  
"How would you have reacted if I had? The same way you did the other day."

"I would have been pissed, yes, but it would have been easier." She says softly, "Easier than finding out you've been together for a year." They talk some more and she makes the startling realization that he sounds a lot happier. That this isn't really affecting him at all.

She also realizes she hasn't talked to Killian since that night. She debates on whether she should give him a call, finger hovering over his contact and she decides against it. He's probably busy with work anyways. Like the senses it senses that she was trying to decide if she should call him, he sends her a message.

 **K:** " _Are you okay?_ " She has to think about her reply if she says no. Chances are he'll pop up at her door, but she also feels like he'd be able to tell if she was lying.  
 **E:** " _Neal moved in with her. So, I don't know._ " His reply is quick.

 **K** : " _What do you need?_ "

 **E:** " _I need to not think about it._ " And he doesn't respond after that, she figures he just fell asleep and as she gets comfortable in bed, her phone starts to ring.

"Swan, I want to help you, but I'm not sure how."

"That's okay." She says softly, "Just talk."

"About what?"

"How was work, _dear_?" She asks and he laughs.

"Playing along now, are we?"

"I can't ask my husband how work was?" She asks, pouting a little, but he's still laughing.

"It was fine, love. Thank you for asking." He says softly, "The students are getting anxious, what with Thanksgiving break coming up."

"Hmm." She hums in acknowledgment, a sign for him to continue and he does. He tells her about an angry parent coming in angry with him for teaching her son about different religions that weren't their own and how he had to explain that he wasn't converting anyone, that his class had little to do with his own beliefs. Having to remind her over and over again that that class, in particular, is an elective and the student has to sign up for it.

"How is that your fault?"

"I don't know." He says, "Sometimes I think some parents forget it's a college and not high school and they have very little say in what their children learn here. Some parents are good at letting their kid do whatever, be independent. Some just...demand to be at every meeting, see every report card, call me pissed off wondering why their full-grown child is failing my class." She can hear the annoyance in his voice.

"What else do you teach?" She asks softly, trying not to fall asleep.

"English literature."

"I feel like I should have known that."

"Most people do."

"Do you have big classes?" She asks.

"Hmmm. For the required classes, yes. But for the elective...I'd say an average amount of kids." He says, "And before you ask, yes the elective does have a lot of girls."

"I _wonder_ why."

"Maybe they just like learning."

"You can keep telling yourself that." She laughs, "Really has nothing to do with your face, At least you won't get arrested for flirting with them."

"Please, Swan, I am a married man." She bites her lip, trying to stop a yawn but she can hear him moving, papers rustling. "It's late, love. You should go to sleep."

"I should?"

"Yes."

"What if I don't want to?" She asks.

"That is a foolish decision on your part." He talks to her for a few more minutes and then lets her go. She really should be going to sleep anyways.

* * *

The next morning after she gets Henry to school, she lays on the couch watching The Office. Coffee resting on the coffee table. She ends up dozing off and being woken a few minutes later when her phone starts blaring. She reaches for it quickly, slamming her hand into her coffee cup and knocking it over, coffee spilling on her phone.

"Shit!" She curses, grabbing it quickly, "Shit!" She yells when she realizes the coffee spilled all over the divorce papers. Now they're a soggy mess and she does her best to wipe them off but she smears the freaking ink all over, they'll never take them now. Killian's signature looks like a blob and she feels tears burning her eyes as she sits on the floor. It's not that big a deal, but here she is, a mess on the floor, the smell of coffee in the air and she hates this.

"Emma?" David is at her door, she didn't hear him knock. He comes in, takes one look at the mess and then at her. Shoulders slumping a little as he takes it in.

"Yes, take a good look. Crying over spilled coffee." She huffs and he walks over, pulls her into his arms.

"You're not crying over the coffee." Is all he says. He knows what Neal did, she's surprised that he didn't go kick his ass the minute she told him. He helps her clean it up, making her sit back down while he goes and gets paper towels out of the kitchen.

"What are you doing here?"

"Just came to check on you and good thing I did." He says, "Probably would have drowned in your own tears by now."

"I ruined the papers." She says softly, looking at the soggy pile of what used to be divorce papers.

"That's okay, you can get new ones." And she can, it's not that difficult, but her stomach twists and she shakes her head.

She goes to the University later, school is still in session she realizes when she turns in the parking lot to see a lot more cars than usual. She has three hours before she has to pick up Henry from school.

There are a lot of kids here, scrambling around with books and bags. She has to pretty much shove people to get to his door. Doesn't look like he has class right now, but he's setting something up and she feels like she really shouldn't bother him.

She's able, though, to sneak in the back, hidden behind students and he doesn't notice she's there until halfway through. His eyes meet hers and he smirked, putting his hands on his hips. "Well, it looks like we have a new person joining us today." He says and then she hears the sound of bodies shifting, all turning towards her and okay, maybe this was a bad idea. "Everyone say hello to Emma, my wife."

" _Wife?_ " One of the girls squeaks from the other side of the room.

"Yes, isn't she lovely?" Emma rolls her eyes and watches in amusement when he gets slammed with questions that have nothing to do with the lesson. When did they get married? Where's his ring? Do they have kids? Do they have a dog, because all married couples should have a dog? Do they have pictures from their wedding? Someone asking if the sex was good, Killian ignoring that one even though he definitely heard it.

"I fail to see how this has anything to do with Hades." He says, turning back to the board and moving on.

"What are you doing here, love?" He asks when they all file out, "I only have a few minutes."

"I…spilled coffee on the divorce papers and kind of messed up your signature."

"How clumsy of you."

"Yeah, shut up." She says, "So, I have to get new ones. Figured I should let you know that."

"Okay."

"I just realized it might have been better to do that over the phone."

"It's okay, I like it when you visit me." He smirks, "Though more so after classes let out."

"They wouldn't have known I was there if you hadn't pointed it out."

"I was caught off guard."

"Sure. And you just had to add that I'm your wife?"

"I thought it would be funny."

"It was."

"For you." He says, "Didn't think they'd be so interested in my personal life." She checks the clock, she should go if she wants to get Henry on time.

"I have to go." She says softly, "Call me later."

"Of course." And then he does something she isn't expecting, he kisses her cheek. It's quick, and she's seen him kiss Elsa like that. "They're watching." He whispers and she looks at the doorway, students waiting to come back in. Oh, that makes sense. They'd be confused if he didn't kiss her before she left. She nods and then leaves, pushing through a mass of students on her way out.

* * *

A/N: I'm honestly so surprised with how well this story is doing. It just seemed like a really weird storyline to do, something I probably wasn't going to stick with, but since so many people like it. I think it's staying.


	6. Chapter 6

The only thing she heard over the phone was, accident and Henry, before she was hanging up and jumping out of bed, dressing quickly and making the long drive up to Boston. Neal is standing by the hospital bed, shaking glass out of his shirt, there's blood on it and he has a cut on his arm.

"What happened?" Emma asks quickly, trying to keep herself calm.

"It was a car accident, some idiot hit us."

"Where's Henry?" She asks softly, she doesn't see her son. Where is he? Her question is answered when the bathroom door opens and someone small wraps himself around her legs.

"He's fine, Em." Neal says softly, "Just a few bumps and bruises." Emma let's out a sigh of relief, lifting him up to wrap her arms around him, brushing his hair back. He has a small cut on his forehead and some bruises but that's about it.

"Oh, my baby." She whispers in his hair, relieved. Neal really should have clarified over the phone, let her know that her little boy wasn't lying in the middle of the street _dead_.

"I don't think he wants to stay the night at a hospital, so…" Neal sighs, "If you're not busy-"

"Yeah." She nods and then she realizes, she doesn't see Tamara anywhere and Neal looks...really upset, "Where's-"  
"She got the worst of it." He says, "She's still in surgery."

"Oh…"

"It'll be a little while before she's out. You guys can go home and try and get some sleep."

"Call me later?"

"Sure."

Today didn't go as planned, nothing seemed to be working out like it should have been. She was supposed to have lunch with Mary Margaret and David but they had to run out of town to his mother's, she was sick and seeming to only be getting worse, she got the bills for the house and they were more expensive than she thought they would be, but Neal usually handled that and he doesn't live with her anymore. And now, now her car isn't starting. She leans back against the seat after trying several times to get it working, but it's no use. Why did this have to happen now? She tries to call Ruby but she doesn't answer, she might be asleep, it is kind of late.

"Great," Emma mutters, glancing at Henry in the backseat. He's just looking out the window, not paying attention to her.

She pretends not to notice how worried he sounds when she tells him where she is, assuring him she and Henry are fine they're just stuck, or the way he keeps glancing at her as he drives. She leans her head against the window rubbing at her temple, exhaustion weighing heavy in her bones. Henry is fast asleep in the back.

"Thanks." She says softly when he turns into her driveway.

"Are you okay, Swan?" Killian asks, reaching over to brush her hair from her face.

"It's been a long day." Is all she says as she climbs out of the car and heads to the back. She tries to wake up Henry, but the boy sleeps like the dead and she can't, but she can't carry him.

"Go inside, I'll get him." She jumps when she realizes he's standing next to her and she nods. She leaves the door open for him, points him up to where Henry's bedroom is. It's weird, seeing someone other than Neal carry her son upstairs, but at least he's gentle. She feels bad when he comes down the stairs and she can see how tired he actually looks, he drove all the way here just to make sure she got home safe and now he has to drive all the way back and she probably woke him up. At least he doesn't have to work tomorrow.

"Thanks for picking us up."

"No problem." He says softly, "You look tired."

"I am."

"You should head to bed, love. I'll see you tomorrow." He gives her a small smile and heads for the door, she follows, trips on one of Henry's discarded shoes and falls into him.

"Sorry." She says quickly, but she doesn't pull away. For some reason, she just stands there, pressed against him and he could move too, but he doesn't.

"It's okay." He whispers and god is he close to her, she could just tilt her head and kiss him, it would be so easy. He's right there. He kissed her the last time she saw him, on the cheek but still, she kind of can't stop thinking about it. Thinking about what it would have felt like if he had missed and kissed her lips instead, or if she turned her head at the last second if she had realized what was happening. She doesn't realize she's doing it until she's actually in the process of doing it, but he does something unexpected right at the last second, right before they're about to touch, he pulls back. "Emma...you're exhausted." He says quickly, dropping his arms from around her and stepping back towards the door. Oh _my god did he just-_

"Oh…"

"I should go." He says, "You should go to sleep." She doesn't say anything, just nods and he sends her an apologetic look as he leaves.

At least he felt sorry for _rejecting_ her.

* * *

When she gets up the next morning, she can't get rid of the knot in her stomach. Maybe he was so tired last night he won't remember it. She knows that's the dumbest thing to think even as she's thinking it. Of course, he'll remember how she tried to kiss him in her living room as he was leaving. The knot doesn't leave her for the next two days.

"Emma, is something bothering you?" Mary Margaret asks looking at her from across the table, Emma glances at Ruby who's cleaning a table a few feet from them. She cannot tell Mary Margaret without Ruby hearing and she does not need to hear what Ruby has to say about it. So she shakes her head.

"Neal got in a car accident Saturday." She says instead.

"Oh my god…"

"Everyone's fine." She says softly, Tamara made it out of surgery and is expected to make a fast recovery, she was discharged earlier this afternoon.

"Oh, that's good."

"How's Ruth?"

"Uh...better." Mary Margaret says softly, "She's getting settled in nicely." She had to move in with them, being put on Hospice, the cancer is now taking over all of her and she may only have a few months.

"And James?"

"She's asked for him, but...you know." Mary Margaret shrugs, "He's got better things to do." James is David's twin brother, kind of an ass. Emma has only met him twice and both times were less than pleasant. She met him the first time when he was staying with David, using his spare bedroom as his own personal brothel. He kept making passes at her, asking if she'd like to share the shower, you know, for David's sake because the water bill is expensive and this was around the time Emma was also staying with them, and then the second time was at David's wedding. When he made nonstop passes at Ruby, often times touching her where she didn't want to be touched, eventually he learned to keeps his hands to himself when Ruby sent a sharp kick to his groin with her dagger-like stilettos. "No one wants to watch their mom wither away to nothing."

"He should still come see her one last time. When was the last time he visited?"

"A few years ago." Mary Margaret sighs, "Before she got sick." Emma shakes her head. It's hard to believe someone who was related to David would turn out so...awful. "Anyways," Mary Margaret takes a drink of her coffee, "How are things with Killian?" She asks and then Emma must have made a face because she straightens. "What was that?"

"What was what?"

"That face."

"What face?" Emma asks and she raises an eyebrow.

"Emma." She says, her motherly voice in full bloom, "What happened? What did you do?" She asks and she can't really hide it now. She looks around but Ruby must have gone in the back because she isn't around here anymore. Emma sighs.

"Okay, but you can't tell anyone."

"Okay."

"Not David, not Ruby, and oh my god, not Liam."

"Emma, you have my-"

"I...tried to kiss him." She says softly, looking around for Ruby again and Mary Margaret blinks.

"What do you mean you tried?"

"He uh, pulled away."

"Oh, Emma." Mary Margaret says, pity in her voice and she shakes her head, she doesn't need that. It's not a big deal.

"It's not...it was stupid, I was tired and upset and I did a stupid thing." She says softly, "Not that big a deal."

"Emma, you let your guard down for a second and he pushed you away, that's gotta hurt."

"What's gotta hurt?" Ruby asks, she's standing next to them now, loading the tray with their empty plates. "What are we talking about?"

"Nothing," Emma says quickly and she sets her sights on Mary Margaret, it takes thirty seconds to break her.

"Emma tried to kiss Killian and he-"

"He rejected you?" Ruby looks horrified, "What!?"

"It's not-"

"Oh, I'm gonna kill him."

"No." Emma says softly, "It's fine."

"It's not fine." Ruby spats, "You never make the first move. How long did it take to get Neal to kiss you?"

"Uuuuh-"

"A long time." She says, "Get up."

"Wha-"

"Emma, go get you that kiss." She says firmly and Emma rolls her eyes.

"Ruby…"

"At least ask him why he pulled away. It wouldn't kill you to talk about it." Mary Margaret says softly, "This doesn't have to be a catastrophe." Emma sighs, let's Ruby pull her up and grabs her jacket. She can just go home and say she did it. She doubts they'll know, but she's not a very good liar and he has been calling her since it happened. She shakes her head.

"Fine...I'll go talk to him."

"Oh my god, yay!" Ruby jumps up and down, "I'm so excited."

"Ruby, this doesn't mean-"  
"Emma, you already married the man, might as well get some fun out of it." She winks and she rolls her eyes again. Sometimes she thinks sex is all that girl thinks about. Mary Margaret sighs, tells her she'll watch Henry and that he'll be fine. Emma leaves.

She takes her sweet time getting there, snow coming down pretty hard the closer she gets to the University. Hopefully, he's there and she can at least wait out the storm. She has no idea where he lives if he isn't and she'd rather not sit and wait for the snow to stop with Will.

She walks right in, doesn't even knock and immediately feels terrible when she see's him sitting with a student, helping her with something. He looks up as she's turning to leave.

"Swan?" He calls for her.

"I'll wait."

"No need." He says and someone brushes past her, they're alone now. He reaches around to close the door, "I just about to call you. You've turned into quite the ghost."

"I've been busy."

"How's Henry?" He asks.

"He's fine, he doesn't even remember."

"That's good."

"Yeah…" She bites her lip, rocking her feet. This was stupid, she has half a mind to just leave, but he's looking at her, grabbing discarded books off of desks and putting them away and she can't bring herself to do it.

"Did you need something?"

"Uh...no. Yes?" She shrugs, "I don't know." He gives her a confused look as he heads for his desk, sitting down.

"Well, when you figure that out, I'll be here." He says softly, turning on his computer and grabbing a pen. He rests a stack of papers on his knee, fingering through them. Why is she still here? Her phone vibrates in her pocket.

 **R:** " _Diiiiddd you kiss him yet? Was it magical? Hot? I bet it was hot. Oh my god, hurry up me and Mary Margaret_ are _waiting. ;)"_ Emma sighs, rolling her eyes and she doesn't respond.

"Everything okay?" He asks, she must be making a face, but she nods.

"Everything is fine." She says, shutting her phone off and slipping it back in her pocket. He goes back to what he was going and she just stands where she is, the door so close, yet so far. "Actually, everything's not fine." She says quickly and he looks up, raising an eyebrow at her. God, she's acting so weird.

"Wh-"

"I can't believe I'm doing this." She says softly, "I...wanted you to kiss me." He sits up, setting his pen down, but he doesn't say anything. "And you didn't. I'm not the type of person who makes the first move, you can ask Neal. So, I was a little…" She runs her hand over her face, rubbing her eyes. What is she doing here? Honestly, this is idiotic.

"Swan." He's getting up and walking over to her, but he keeps his distance. "Look at me."

"I'm sorry, I don't know why I let Ruby talk me into coming here." She says softly heading for the door, "Just uh...forget I ever-"

"Do you still want me to?" She stops. _That_ turned the knot in her stomach into something else. Butterflies? Ew.

"What?" She asks and it must be something about her face that has him shaking his head and taking it back.

"I'm sorry, that was-"

"Killian." She says softly, "I didn't say no." That seems to be all the confirmation he really needed. He comes back to her and doesn't stop until she's against him.

"Last chance to back out." He smirks and she rolls her eyes but doesn't stop him as he takes his hand and tilts her head up by her chin. She can tell it was supposed to be soft and sweet, but the second his lips touch hers, soft and sweet gets thrown out the goddamn window. She has no idea how long it is before she hears the door open and close.

"Well isn't this a fun little plot twist," Will says from over by the door and Emma jumps back, letting go of Killian's shirt from where she had it clenched in her fingers. "Don't stop because of me." He says, putting his hand up and then he checks his watch. "But uh...if Killian wants to keep his job, he should probably get to that meeting."

"I'll call you, later." He says softly, "I'm coming, Will."

"If I hadn't shown up sooner, you probably would be by now." He winks and then he's out the door with a laugh.

"That man is disgusting," Emma says softly.

"Yes, well...he is the male version of Ruby."

"I hate that that's an accurate description." Killian laughs softly and then presses his lips to her forehead, "I have to go."

"Wait." She says softly when he heads for the door, she pulls him back for one more kiss and this time it's softer and less intense but it has her whole body buzzing.

Yep.

 _She's screwed_.


	7. Chapter 7

She knows she probably shouldn't but she takes the time while he's gone to look around. He really doesn't have anything personal around his classroom, aside from a picture of his nephews on his desk, but other than that; he really doesn't mix personal with work. It takes him longer than she thought it would to come back and ends up falling asleep with her head down at his desk.

"Swan…" He shakes her awake gently, "I wasn't expecting you to still be here."

"I fell asleep." She says softly, sitting up, "What time is it?" She asks it's black outside. Ruby is probably having a cow right now.

"A little after ten."

"Oh."

"You haven't been sleeping much, have you?"

"Nope." She says softly. He brushes a strand behind her ear and sits in the chair by the desk, "I should go."

"Stay." He smiles softly at her, "As long as you'd like." She leans her head on her hand, propped up on her elbow and she looks at him. It should have dawned on her earlier that he wasn't being himself today, but she was too wrapped up in her own thoughts to really pay attention. He looks tired, more disheveled than usual, keeps looking away when she tries to meet his eyes.

"You're not okay." She says softly.

"Nope."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"I don't know."

"Did something happen?" She asks, "Did...I do something?"

"It's not you." He says softly and then he sighs, eyes finally meeting hers and he shifts in his seat, bites his lip, "It's old wounds, love." She opens her mouth to ask what he means but he answers her before she can, "Um...Milah and I would have been married six years today."

"Oh."

"Just trying to push through it and tell myself that this day will end and I'll go back to not thinking about her every five minutes." That would explain his reluctance to kiss her a few hours ago. If she knew she would never have-

"I'm so sorry…" Emma says softly, "I...didn't know. I would never have-"

"No. Don't do that. I wanted to. I've wanted to for a while."

"Then why did you push me away two days ago?"

"Emma, you just broke up with Neal. The person you were with for five years, the father of your child and to add insult to injury, he was cheating on you and you caught him. You were exhausted, you were emotional, I thought that if I let that happen; that if you woke up to regret it...I didn't want you to be even more upset." He shrugs, "I was kind of hoping that you'd still want it after the fact but I didn't expect you to come crashing through my door."

"Sorry."

"It's okay." He says softly. "And if it were any other day, I wouldn't have hesitated."

"Six years, huh?"

"Yeah."

"How old did you say you were?" She asks and he laughs.

"Why?"

"Just trying to figure out if you're robbing the cradle or not."

"Another story for a different day, love."

"You're not going to tell me, are you?" She asks and then rolls her eyes, "Fine."

"If it's any consolation, Emma, I married her when we were pretty young."

"Like early thirties ooorr-"  
"Do I look that old to you?"

"I don't know, you could have a really good skin routine."

"Emma."

"Hm?"

"Shut up." He laughs and he leans forward, presses his lips to hers again, it's quick and simple and over way too quickly.

"Okay, I'm shutting up." She whispers pulling him back and kissing him again. She should really be going. Preferably before Ruby hunts her down. When he pulls back again, she notices that he's still a little...not into it. "This is probably weird for you, kissing another woman on your wedding anniversary."

"Little bit." He shrugs, "I know she's dead and that she's not coming back but still, I can't imagine her being okay with it."

"Is she gonna haunt me?"

"If pictures start falling off your wall or your car breaks down on the way home, you'll know why." He shrugs, "She was probably so pissed when I got remarried six months after she died."

"You were drunk and at least you weren't engaged to someone else."

"True."

"I should get going…"

"Wait." He says, "Elsa would like to know what you're doing for Thanksgiving." She shrugs, she won't have Henry and usually, she and her tiny family go over to Mary Margaret's but with Ruth's worsening condition, she doesn't know if they're planning on doing anything.

"Uuuhh…"

"I'll take that as nothing." He says, "She wants you to come over."

"I…"

"I'll tell her you said maybe."

"Okay," Emma says softly and then she's heading out.

When she got in her car, her phone was exploding with messages from a frantic Ruby, ranging from " _Did he kill you,_ " and " _Are you guys getting busy on the desk because I'm just trying to figure out why you're not texting me back_." She has one missed call from Mary Margaret.

* * *

"Emma Swan, get over here!" Ruby shouts as soon as the door closes behind her. Mary Margaret gives her a knowing smile as she goes to the kitchen.

"No need to shout," Emma says softly, sitting on the couch next to her friend who's bouncing in excitement on the cushions.

"All the need to shout."

"If you wake up David, you're telling him why." Mary Margaret gives her a look over her shoulder as she fills the sink up to start on the dishes.

"Sooooo…" Ruby starts, "What happened? Tell me right now."

"I should really be getting Henry home."

"Did you get your answer?"

"Yes."

"Did you get your kiss?" Ruby asks. Emma rolls her eyes, standing up. It's late and she needs to have Henry ready early tomorrow to go over to Neals since Thursday is Thanksgiving and she told him he could have him.

"Ruby-"

"Emmmmaaaaa" She whines, "I've been waiting all night."

"She has been very anxious." Mary Margaret pipes up, "And I want to know too."

"Blink once for no, twice for yes." Ruby smiles and Emma blinks twice for her, but that's all she's giving her, jumping when Ruby let's out a loud squeal.  
"Sssssshhh!" Mary Margaret hisses from the sink.

"Sorry." Ruby whispers, "Was it-"  
"Ruby I really have to go."

"Fine, but you're telling me tomorrow."  
"I'm telling you tomorrow."  
"All of it."

"Every detail."  
"Down to the taste."

"Taste?" Emma questions, "That's a weird request."

"Don't care. Give it to me."

"I think...he tasted like tea."

"Unsweetened or sweetened?"

"Ruby." Emma gives her a look as she grabs Henry's bag, slings it over her shoulder and helps him with his shoes, she turns to leave. "Bye guys."

"Iced or hot!?" Ruby yells as the door swings shut.

* * *

Trying to say no to Elsa was like pulling teeth and since Mary Margaret wasn't doing anything this year, they invited her and David along too. So, there really was no getting out of it. Emma was kind of looking forward to not having to do anything this year, but when she accidentally married Killian, she pretty much married his whole family too and they weren't taking no for an answer.

So she gets dressed in a dark blue sweater dress and sweeps her hair to the side, blonde curls falling over her shoulder, and heads over. She knows she's late but there was a mix up with Neal and she ended up having to drop Henry off herself, getting up earlier than she was planning and then there was a lot of traffic and just…

It's already been such a long day.

"I didn't think you were coming," Liam says when he opens the door.

"Yeah, I know. I'm late." Emma says softly, he nods as he takes her coat and hangs it up, pointing down the hall.

"Killian your wife is here!" He yells, she hears Mary Margaret's laugh drift through the house as she turns the corner, rolling her eyes. Even if she divorced him, her friends will never let them live it down.

"Swan!" Killian smiles at her, motioning for her to join him by the fireplace where he was having a conversation with David and Mary Margaret.

"Hey." She says softly. David hands her a glass of wine and smiles at them.

"So, Killian, are you happy to have the next few days off?" Mary Margaret asks and he nods.

"More than I should be." And they go into a conversation about teaching things and she tunes them out, looking around the room. There's a lot of pictures on the walls, but on the mantle is a large photo of Liam and Elsa on their wedding day, underneath it is a framed picture of an ultrasound, two little fetuses and then next to it is a picture of Anna and Kris, seemingly posing before prom or something. There's another wedding picture, of Killian and another woman. Someone, she can only think of being Milah, he's whispering something in her ear and she has her head thrown back in a laugh. She jumps when she feels someone's hands on her shoulders.

"That's Milah." Killian says softly, "and the redhead behind her is Ariel, the guy next to her is Eric, Anna...Kris…" he points out everyone in the background, letting her know that Elsa was the one who helped them decide who to invite. Not having many friends and Milah not having any family, it was hard to fill seats.

"I don't even remember what I did with Henry's ultrasound pictures." She says softly, she's sure she still has them somewhere. He opens his mouth to say something but they both jump when they hear Elsa yell that dinner is ready.

She starts to move to the kitchen but he pulls her back, gives her a quick kiss and then goes to the dining room.

Dinner is really nice, Elsa was proud of her handy work, but after a few playful jabs from Liam, leftover food is flying across the table and he ends up chasing her around the house. Mary Margaret and David watch as they chase each other around, armed with an assortment of food.

"You'll get used to it," Killian says with a laugh and they hear Elsa's squeak of protest from the living room and Anna going to her rescue.

While they set about cleaning up their mess, Emma goes out to the back porch and sits on the step. Being in a crowd is starting to make her feel anxious and she just needs a minute. Killian comes out after a few minutes, a plate with a slice of pie and two forks in his hand.

"What are you doing out here all alone, love?" He asks as he sits next to her, he offers her a fork and she laughs.

"Thanks." She says, "And I just wanted some fresh air."

"I hope you don't mind if I sit with you."

"Not at all."

"Good, because I don't really want to get up again."

"Age starting to take its toll on your joints?"

"I am not that old, Swan." He says softly, "Did you have fun?"  
"It was nice."

"Nice?"

"I'm not really used to...all of this." She shrugs, "Before Henry, we never really...celebrated any Holidays and even when we did, it was never this big."

"Well get used to it, sweetie." He nudges her shoulder with his own, "There's no backing out now." He smiles at her, "And I get it. I wasn't used to it at first either." She gives him a look and he sighs, "We never did anything. My parents weren't really good in the whole parenting department, Swan, they didn't care. They didn't care if we ate on Thanksgiving or had anything to open on Christmas. And then Elsa came along and, well. Now we're kind of stuck doing silly family things." She leans her head on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry."

"It wasn't all bad."

"At least...you had them...even if they were crappy in the whole parenting department." She says softly, jabbing her fork in the pie and scooping up a piece. "My parents left me on the side of the road as a newborn."

"What?"

"Yeah. You know it's weird...they didn't care enough to drop me off at a hospital, but they had enough compassion to knit a thick blanket with my name in it. Someone had to care a little." She sighs, "I spent my whole childhood in the system. I didn't even know what Christmas was until I was about six."

"That's...I'm sorry that happened to you, love."

"Eh. It wasn't so bad." She said softly, "Some of the homes were nice enough." Then Killian is setting the plate down and turning her head so she can face him. He leaned in and kissed her, there was no hesitation, no reluctance, it was just him.

And it was perfect.

"Oh my god, I am so sorry!" Emma pulls away quickly, Anna is standing behind them, face redder than a tomato as she turns and runs back in the house.

"Is it too much to ask not to get interrupted once in a while?" He asks and Emma shrugs, but she laughs anyway, capturing his lips again.

* * *

Ruby shows up later after having dinner with her grandmother, she brings a large bottle of wine and declares this a perfect time to get plastered. Liam throwing in a, "Just make sure no one accidentally gets married this time," as she heads for the wine glasses. Elsa put the kids to bed a few hours ago, stomachs full and sleepy, she helps Ruby get the glasses down, but she sticks with water.

"Not a drinker?" Ruby asks, raising her eyebrows at her. It's just the girls, the boys having disappeared downstairs in the basement to watch the game. Elsa shakes her head.

"You drank last time." Ruby pouts, "Not even a sip?"

"No thank you, Ruby I'm fine," Elsa says softly as she gets up, heads over to the sink and grabbing the pitcher to fill her glass up with sparkling water. Emma doesn't mean to say it out loud but she does. Not catching it until it fumbles past her lips.

"You're pregnant." She says softly and Elsa freezes, turning slowly.

"Not a word." She says firmly, "I will hurt you."

"Oh my god!" Mary Margaret beams as she jumps up from the table, enveloping Elsa in a warm hug and then Ruby joins, slamming into her on the other side. Emma stays seated.

"Footsteps!" Emma hisses when she hears someone coming up the stairs and they break apart quickly as Liam steps through the door.

"What was that?" He asks, raising an eyebrow as he opens the fridge.

"What was what?"

"The hugging and then the quick end of the hugging when you saw me coming."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Elsa says as she takes a drink and leans against the counter. He eyes her and grabs her glass, setting it down. "Hey."

"Hey, what?"

"The sexual tension is killing me," Ruby whispers to Mary Margaret and she rolls her eyes.

"I was drinking that."

"You don't want any wine?"  
"Not really."

"Uh-huh." He nods, "Okay. I think this is the part where you tell me you're pregnant." She gapes at him, straightening.

"Well damn." She throws her hands up, "You caught me." He smiles widely as he closes the gap between them, kisses her all over and Emma feels like they should go and give them some privacy, but then Elsa's pulling back.

"If it's twins this time I'm cutting _it_ off and putting it in a blender." She smiles sweetly at him, Ruby chokes on her drink.

"Wow, okay." He laughs pressing one more kiss to her forehead and leaving.

As the party dies down and people start to leave, she gets her coat and gets ready to go home. Not really liking the idea, not yet used to being home alone.

"Emma." Killian walks her out and to her car. She's pressed up against him, cold from the snow but warm because of him. "Should you be driving?"

"I'm fine I just had one glass." She says softly, "You can come with me if you want." She knows what that request sounds like, but that's not how she meant it. She just doesn't like being alone in her house and she doesn't get Henry back until Sunday.

"Uuuuh-"  
"Not like _that_ …" She says quickly, he's looking at her with an amused look as he closes the gap between them, pressing her up against the side of her car.

"Not like what?" He asks softly as he leans in, kissing her like he's never going to see her again and if she had zero self-control, she'd be shoving him in the car right now. But she doesn't, just kisses him back with an equal amount of intensity until he's pulling away and she makes a noise of protest.

"Why'd you stop?" She asks and he chuckles.

"Be careful on your way home, Swan." He smirks, opening the car door for her.

* * *

Her house is cold when she walks in, like really cold and it takes her only a few minutes to realize that it's because her heater isn't working and since it's a Holiday, she won't be able to get anyone here to fix it until _maybe_ tomorrow. She groans loudly as she makes her way to the little storage closet, sifting through to find a tiny space heater, she can use this to at least heat up her room a little bit. The rest of the house would have to wait.

Emma shivers as she sets it up, turning it on full blast, barely blowing any heat out but maybe it just needs a minute to...boot up. Her phone starts to ring when she just gets comfortable in bed, in a long sleeve shirt and sweats.

"Just making sure you got home safe, love," Killian says.

"I did." And there must be something in her voice because he asks her if she's okay and she snaps out a no.

"What happened?"

"There's no heat in my house and I'm cold."

"What?"

"Yup."

"Do you have anything to-"

"I found a small space heater in the closet but it's not doing much." She says softly, "I'm cold."

"I think Elsa might have some."

"Don't worry abo-"

"I'll bring them to you."

"Okay." She says softly, "Bring something warm too." He hangs up and less than twenty minutes later, she hears knocking on the door. He has a box of little space heaters and he sets them by the door. "Thank you." She says softly and he turns back to his car and pulls out two cups of hot chocolate, one smelling strongly of cinnamon.

"Mmmm, thank you." She smiles, taking it and stepping aside so he can come back in.

"Do you want some help putting them up?" He asks and she shrugs.

"No, I think I can manage. You didn't have to do this."

"Please, like I'd let my wife freeze." He says, "I'm not an animal." She shakes her head and lets him set up the heaters around the house, she likes having him here anyways. It can get pretty lonely. As soon as he's ready to leave she wraps her arms around his neck and kisses him with the same intensity he did before she left.

"Swan." He pulls back, "You keep on and I might just have to-"

"Stay." She whispers, kissing him again, "I don't...I don't want to be alone." She expects him to say no, to leave with a promise to call tomorrow but he just stands there.

"Emma."

"We don't have to...I'm not asking for that."

"Okay." He whispers, "I'll stay with you." She smiles triumphantly as she presses her lips to his again, deeper than she intended but she doesn't mind if he doesn't.

Despite her previous statement, she really wasn't asking him to stay for that, but she winds up backing him up and pushing him back on the couch, climbing in his lap. He doesn't stop her from lifting her shirt off, goosebumps rising on her skin, both from the cold and from him as he runs his finger up and down the side of her, tracing her curves.

"Beginning to think you intended to seduce me." He smirks as he kisses her neck, "Not that I mind."

"Really wasn't my intention."

"Mmhmm." He nips at her earlobe, she rolls her eyes.


	8. Chapter 8

She's barely awake, pressed against something warm and wrapped up in her blankets up to her nose. There's a noise, it sounds like knocking and someone groans from under her, the noise vibrating in her ear. She groans too, not wanting to move but that noise is getting louder the more she wakes up.

"Em? Are you in there?" Her eyes snap open, "Emma. Come on, you can't still be sleeping." She sits up quickly, realizing it's Neals voice shooting through her bedroom door.

" _Shit._ " She curses softly and Killian blinks at her as she leans over him and plucks his sweater off the floor.

"I'm coming in," Neal says

"NO!" She shrieks, fumbling with the shirt to get it over her head, nearly tripping as she heads for the door. "What the hell are you doing here?" She hisses as she cracks the door, he raises his eyebrows at her.

"Well, good morning to you too." He says

"What are you doing here, Neal?"

"Henry wanted to come home." He says with a shrug, "So I brought him home."

"You've had him for less than twenty-four hours..."

"Yes, I know." He says head tilting at the sweater that clearly wasn't hers. "I see you had an eventful night last night. Who's in there?"

"That's hardly any of your business."

"So, there's someone in there?"

"Where's Henry?" She snaps.

"Downstairs, I turned on a movie for him."

"Okay thanks, bye." She says, giving him a little wave and moving to close the door, but he puts his foot in to stop it. "What?"

"Just wondering how long it took after we broke up for him to climb in our bed."

" _My_ bed."

"Well, I see you move on fast."

"Oh, you're one to talk." She snaps it at him, she heard movement behind her, Killian getting out of bed and she wedges herself between the door, "accidentally" stepping on Neals' foot in the process. "You can leave now."

"Just uh, do me a favor."

" _What?_ "

"Put on some pants before you go greet our son, will ya?" He says and then he's heading down the hallway, she doesn't close the door until she hears his footsteps hit the stairs. Her back hits the door when she closes it with a slam. Killians giving her a look as he's pulling on his pants.

"Good thing he left, I was about to go over there."

"That only would have encouraged him." She says softly, he smirks as he heads over to her. He tugs on the hem of her (his) sweater.

"I think this is mine."

"But it's comfy." She pouts

"Yes, and it looks very good on you." He says softly, kissing her forehead and she sighs, she just wants to stay here with him, but she has to go check on Henry and she's sure he has to head back to Liam's soon.

"You have another shirt." She says biting her lip, he does. He has a thin long sleeve shirt he wore underneath. She remembers ripping it off him.

"I did." She gives him a confused look at he picks it up off the floor, "It would appear someone tore it, I wonder who that was." He holds it up, black fabric that used to be a shirt, torn down the middle.

"Crime of passion?"

"I'll say."

"Emma, what are you doing up there?" Neal shouts up the stairs, "Or should I say _who_?"

"BITE ME NEAL!" She shouts back letting her head fall back, thudding against the door. "I'll be down in a minute!"

"Sweater please," Killian smirks and she rips it off, throwing it at him with more force than she intended. "You're mad at Neal, not me, love."

"I'm annoyed." She whines. She lets him use her shower, hoping he doesn't come down while Neal is still here. That's a confrontation she does not want to deal with, she gets dressed quickly and heads down. Neal is on the couch with Henry, glancing at her as she comes down.

"Look, Henry, isn't nice of mommy to grace our presence this morning?" He says, "Emma I am very sorry for interrupting you and your boyfriend."

" _Husband._ " She corrects, a triumphant smile tugging at her lips when she see's his teasing and slightly patronizing smile falter. "And a _very_ good one in fact." She adds on and then he's standing, pressing a kiss to the top of Henry's head.

"I'll see you next weekend, okay?"

"Okay," Henry says softly, eyes not leaving the tv. He doesn't say anything to Emma, probably doesn't have anything to add that comment. When he's finally gone, she flops down on the couch next to Henry, eyes widening when she see's that it's nearly noon.

"So, kid." She says softly, "Why'd you want to come home so early?" He doesn't miss a beat, snuggles up against her side.

"I missed you."

"I missed you too." She says softly, fingers stroking his hair. She'll need to get it cut soon, it's getting longer. It's not as cold as it was last night, the space heaters finally doing their job, but she grabs a blanket and covers him up anyways. "Did you have breakfast?"

"Tammy made pancakes."

"Tammy?"

"Daddy's girlfriend." He says softly and then he turns his head to face her, confusion on his tiny features. "I thought...you were his girlfriend." She tenses, here it is. The conversation she wasn't looking forward to.

"Uuuuhh…" She starts but then stops when she hears Killian's footsteps on the stairs. "Did you have fun?"

"Yeah."

"That's good." She says softly, Killian sits next to her, his arm going around her shoulders. Henry see's it but he doesn't say anything, just turns his eyes back to the tv.

* * *

Mary Margaret cups her mug, tears falling in the steaming liquid, staring down at it. Emma sits, hand on her shoulder as the coroner wheels the body bag down the stairs. It's about a week since Ruth's health taking a bigger turn for the worst after Thanksgiving. The doctor said she may only have a week, she died two days later. Emma came in the loft as Mary Margaret's screams echoed through the room and she pretty much broke the door down. She was the one who had to make the call, who had to check to make sure she was actually…

"We have to call David." Her voice is weak and hoarse as she sways in her chair. "He's at work." Mary Margaret took the week off, knowing this day was coming, she runs a hand over her face, "I have to call James." She breathes a shaky breath, "Oh god…"

"I can do it if you want." Emma offers softly.

"No, you've…" She swallows, "You've done enough." She pats Emma's hand softly.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah." She nods, "Thank you for being here."

The town looks nice as it gets ready for Christmas, light posts wrapped generously in Christmas lights and ribbons. Usually, it'd be...pretty but on a day like today, it only serves as a reminder that someone they all loved won't be here for Christmas...or any other holidays. Emma sighs as she heads over to the funeral home, Neal cooperating for once and taking Henry on a weeknight, both of them agreeing he's too young to understand what's going on. The fabric of her dress does little to fend her from the icy winds. She jumps when she feels someone grab her hand.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you," Ruby says from beside her, voice not as cheery as it usually is today.

"It's okay," Emma says softly as they walk together up to the funeral home. Inside is warm at least, she signs them both in and then goes to find David, bumping into someone as she walks. Their hands grip her shoulders to steady her as she stumbles slightly, not really used to wearing heels.

"Careful," Liam says softly. She wants to ask what he's doing here, but he does know David and it would only make sense for him to be here showing support.

"Hey…"

"David is in there, be prepared he's kind of a mess." She nods and brushes past him, heading straight up the front. Mary Margaret is sitting in a chair by the casket, it's closed. Ruth didn't want an open casket. She looks like a wreck, tears mixing with her mascara and David, David is unshaven and unsteady. She wraps him in a hug.

"Thanks for coming, Em."

"Why wouldn't I be here?" She whispers back, holding onto him a little longer and then embracing Mary Margaret.

The whole town is here, pretty much at least, even Regina came and that's saying something because her and Mary Margaret have never really gotten along. But the funeral home is full to the brim of people, having to get extra seats to accommodate everyone.

"Am I late?" Killian asks as he takes a seat next to her, fingers instantly seeking hers out.

"I wasn't expecting you to come." She says softly, watching as people shuffle around to find a seat since the service starts in a few minutes.

"Well, I heard and figured I should."

"David appreciates it." She whispers, leaning her head on his shoulder.

The service isn't long, soon they all shuffle out to Granny's where she has replaced the tablecloths with black instead of the usual red and white.

David and Mary Margaret laugh as Granny starts in on her annual pestering for great grandchildren. They're not related but she's everyone grandmother in this town so. Emma tugs at the tablecloth, watching as they laugh. It's nice to see a smile on David's face, she's missed it these past few days. She glances at Killian, who's over by the counter talking to Liam, Ruby slides right into the booth, a grin on her crimson lips.

"You guys had sex." She says matter of factly and Emma gives her a weird look.

"Uuuuh-"

"Don't even try to deny it."

"Ruby this is not the place."

"Oh come on, it's the perfect place."

"Davids mom just died." She says softly and Ruby's face softens.

"I know." She sighs, "I'm not...an awful person, okay?"

"I know."

"But you totally slept with Jones."

"Ruby." Emma scolds her, but she laughs a little bit, "Will you stop?"

"I'll stop when you confirm it."

"Okay." She nods, "We may have-"  
"YES!" She yells it, a happy smile on her face and it has people turning their heads. Emma sinks low in her seat.

"Don't do that."

"Sorry, I'm just so happy for you." She bounces in her seat, "Sooooo…"

"So what?"

"Tell your best friend, Ruby Lucas, all about it." She waggles her eyebrows and Emma rolls her eyes. This is not the place for this.

"Later?"

"Promise?" She says with a wicked grin on her lips.

"Sure."

"No takesies backsies, Miss Swan."

"Okay. I'll...tell you a little bit." She says softly and then she goes into a more serious conversation with her, which she doesn't get often, about how bad she feels for David and how pissed she was that James decided not to come. Emma shakes her head, she knew James was an ass but she didn't think he'd go so far as to not come to his own mother's funeral after promising to be there. Which only made things worse for David.

* * *

Neal decided to keep Henry overnight with the promise that he'd bring him home in the evening tomorrow. Henry would miss two days of school instead of just one, it doesn't bother her much, he hasn't missed in a while and he'll have a substitute anyways.

She walks with Killian to her car. She feels like things are too good with him like something will happen and she'll freak out, but she hasn't gotten the urge to run and she supposes that's good. She should go home, but instead of getting in her car and leaving she wraps her arms around his neck. God, this man looked good in a suit.

"What is it?" He asks softly.

"I just realized I don't even know where you live." She says, "But you know where I live."

"What do you suppose we do about that, Swan?"

"I don't know…"

"Are you asking me to take you home?" He asks. She shrugs her answer and he laughs, "One sleepover wasn't enough for you?"

"Was it enough for you?" She asks.

"Get in the car, love."

She drives home to grab some clothes and smiles when she see's him already parked outside, leaning against his car and he waves as she gets out. His house isn't far from the University, just a few minutes away actually, but it's a small one bedroom house and incredibly cozy. He closes the door when she goes in, flipping on the lights and the house is illuminated in a soft yellow glow. The living room is a white and grey theme and it's pretty clear he didn't decorate it himself.

"Elsa was in charge of the interior design." He says, pulling her to the couch.

"I thought it felt too womanly." She smirks, he pulls her down to sit next to her, hand running up her leg. He hums in acknowledgment. There is a loud noise and something fluffy and yellow plows into her. "You have a dog!" She exclaims as she watches him grab the dog's collar and pull him off of her.

"This is Smee. Emma, Smee. Smee, Emma." He gestures between them, it's a large fluff ball of a golden retriever and he's so excited to see a new human, he's pretty much trying to break Killian's arm. "He won't hurt you, he's just excited."

"I can see that." She laughs, reaching out to pet him, he takes the opportunity to lick the hell out of her hand and she makes a face. She's never had a pet, never even thought about getting one and foster families usually didn't have them, at least not where she went. "He's uh...nice." She says wiping her hand on her dress.

She leaves him alone to work, (Smee is chasing a bird outside) thinking maybe a weeknight wasn't the best night to ask him to take her home, but after today, she didn't like the idea of returning to the cold loneliness that is her house. So, she takes the opportunity to look around. Upon her first inspection, there are a lot less photo's of Milah than she expected, at least none of her alone. Most of the pictures with her in it are of other people, whether it be a random snapshot of Elsa or Anna, or just her sitting in background minding her own business and if there were any of her and Killian together, he didn't have them out. Maybe she was just camera-shy or Killian stashed them away somewhere where he can't see them.

"Snooping around, are we?" He asks from his place on the couch, a stack of papers resting on his crossed legs.

"Just trying to find the embarrassing family photo's."

"Ah, those are a secret." He smirks and then goes back to what he was doing, writing something down and then he's setting the papers on the coffee table and getting up. He spins her around, hands on her waist as he kisses her.

"You look tired."

"Been a long day." He says softly, resting his forehead on hers and she sighs heavily, she's tired too but she's not that tired. A point she makes when she presses her lips to his neck and he stops her to kiss her lips, deep, but noticeably sleepy and it feels way to domestic, the way they're standing here in each other's arms. It's warm and cozy and…

Neal never held her for the sake of holding her. It's a realization that has her eyes welling with tears and she does her best to just shake it off, but Killian is quick and he notices, pulling back enough to look at her.

"You're not okay." He says softly.

"Why do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"You never ask if I'm okay, you just...tell me I'm not."

"What's the point in asking if I know you're not?" He asks, "What's the matter?"

"Just not used to this…" He knows what she's saying and nods, understanding without her having to clarify.

"Well, get used to it." He whispers. He only tears himself away from her because Smee is barking loudly at the back door and he has to let him in.

When she wakes up in the morning, she's not surprised to find that he isn't there. The man has a job. At first, she's confused, knowing this isn't her bed, that this isn't her house, not her sheets clinging to her, not her comforter pulled up over her head and then she remembers. She's at Killians. He was a decent enough human being to keep the coffee pot on, set to begin brewing at precisely ten a.m. and since it's ten thirty by the time she rolls out of bed and gets dressed, takes the liberty to use Killians shower, (she should have packed some of her shampoo or something, because now she smells...well, she smells like him and that's not terrible, but she knows her hair will seek revenge for Emma throwing a wrench in its normal routine) the coffee is hot and ready and there's a little shaker of cinnamon sitting next to it. She may have stolen his shirt again, it was crumpled on the floor from when he took it off and while it isn't one of his cozy sweaters, it's still more comfortable than her own.

It should feel weird, being in his house without him here, but it doesn't. It's...nice, even if she's alone she does have nice company, Smee resting his big head in her lap, sleeping like the dead. She unplugs her phone from the charger, she has a few texts from Ruby.

 **R:** " _I saw you leaving with Killian._ "

 **R:** " _Emma, I saw you get in the car with him, looked like you had a bag?_ "

 **R:** " _Emma, sweet Jesus answer me I need to_ knnnoooowww."

 **R:** " _EMMA SWAN YOU TEXT ME BACK RIGHT THIS SECOND OR SO HELP ME ARE YOU AT KILLIANS!?"_ Emma laughs. She can be so persistent, she's surprised she didn't bring her ass down here to investigate. She sends a quick text back.

 **E:** " _Sorry Rubes, I was busy. ;)_ "

 **R:** " _Did Emma Swan just use an emoji? I_ am shook _. Answer me, are you at Jonesy's?_ " Emma rolls her eyes, snap a picture of Smee's sleeping head in her lap.  
 **E:** " _Did you know he had a dog?_ "

 **R:** " _OHMYGOD, PUPPY! I love him._ "

 **E:** " _He's a nice dog._ "

 **R:** " _I'm more of a wolf person."_ She talks to Ruby some more and then sets her phone down, she should let Smee out, she has no idea how long it's been since the last time he went out. She's about to do it, but she hears the lock on the front door click and then someone walks in. Fire engine red hair, soft green eyes, and freckles.

"Oh!" She jumps.

"Who are you?" Emma asks, she's a pretty girl, a really pretty girl and she has a _key_. Her stomach twists. _What if-_

"I'm Ariel...I walk Smee while Killian is at work…" She says and then her eyes drift down to Emma's bare legs. Oh...oh she's not wearing-

"Emma…" She says softly and then she's running off to the bedroom, pulling on her sweatpants. When she comes back out, Ariel is knelt down, cooing to Smee about the impending walk and he's excitedly jumping around, barking and yelping, tail wagging wildly.

"I didn't mean to scare you." Ariel says softly, "It's...just usually no one is here when I-"

"It's fine, he didn't tell me he had a dog walker is all."

"I figured...what with the lack of clothing and all."

"Sorry…" Emma bites her lip, feeling her cheeks heat up. Ariel shrugs, hooking Smee up to the lead.

"It's alright." She says softly, "Nice to see him moving on." That's all she says before she's giving Smee a soft "Come on" and she's out the door.

She sends Killian a message.

 **E:** " _Did you forget to tell me something?_ "

 **K:** " _Not that I know of...why, did something happen?_ "

 **E:** " _Oh it was nothing, just your dog walker scaring the hell out of me._ "

 **K:** " _Oh dear, I'm sorry, must have slipped my mind._ "

 **E:** " _Little heads up next time. I don't think anyone else should fall victim to my lack of pants these days._ "

 **K:** " _Mmm, maybe I should have stayed home, love. ;)_ " She doesn't respond to that, just flops back on the couch.


	9. Chapter 9

Killian drops her off later than she was supposed to be home, pulling up to find Neal pacing on her doorstep.

"Do you want me to stay?" He asks, eyeing him and she shakes her head.

"No, I got it." She says turning to give him a quick kiss and then getting out of the car. Killian pulls away, slowly. Neal approaches her as she unlocks the door, putting a hand up to stop Tamara from letting Henry out of the car.

"Where the hell have you been?" He asks, "I've been here for over an hour."  
"I know, I'm sorry."

" _Sorry_? That's all you-" His eyes drop to the bag in her hand and runs a hand through his hair, Stepping back, "Did you stay the night? With _him?_ "

"What's the problem?"

"The problem?" He asks, slight edge to his voice, "I told you I could take Henry because I thought it'd be nice, give you a chance to be there for your friend and you went and…" He shakes his head, "You were supposed to be here."

"I'm here now…"

"An hour late."

"You didn't give me a curfew."

"Do you hear yourself right now!" He shouts at her, "When I drop Henry off, I expect you to actually be here, what if I hadn't walked up to see if you were home? He'd be out here freezing!"

"Neal-"

"Emma you're a grown woman, I get it, but at the very least you should be home to take care of your kid!"

"I think you're being a little hypocritical"

"What?"

"How many times did I expect you to be home and you didn't show?"

"For god sake will you let it go?" He yells, "I know, I fucked up. I should have told you but that isn't what we're talking about. I called you four times. Four! What were you doing that you couldn't answer the phone?" She doesn't answer him, just opens the door. "Really, Em?"

"What?" She asks turning around.

"Couldn't keep your legs closed long enough to answer the damn phone?" He snaps and she doesn't dignify that with a response. Even though that's not what they were doing, they were watching a movie and she fell asleep on the couch with him. They woke up the fourth time he called, and before she could answer she already missed it, that's when they left.

"Did Henry have dinner?" She asks

"Yes."

"Okay." She says, tossing her bag in the house and heading over to the car.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting my kid?" She says throwing a look over her shoulder, motioning for Tamara to move and she does, not meeting her eyes. She opens the door and Henry smiles up at her, a sleepy toothy grin and she leans over to unbuckle him. "Say bye to Tamara." She says softly and then he waves.

"Bye Henry, I'll see you soon." She smiles, waving back.

* * *

Neal doesn't show the following weekend and maybe it's to spite her, make her feel what he felt when she didn't answer his calls, but Henry is upset over not getting to see his father and when she decides the best course of action in distracting him would be putting up the Christmas tree; she opens the little storage closet to find that it's gone.

The bastard took her tree and the decorations.

She could actually kill him. What is he, the Grinch?

"Uuuuhh...buddy," Emma says soothingly, walking back in the living room where Henry is, eyes still teary from Neal not showing up. "Looks like we can't do the tree today…" She watches her little boy crumble and she can feel her heart breaking. She doesn't know what to do, she can't really go out and buy a new one, not right now; she likes having electricity. "It's okay we can do it next week…" her words die on her lips he just looks so broken. It has little to do with the damn tree and more to do with Neal.

She has no clue how to make him feel better, she tries turning on a movie, she tries reading him a book but they do little to make him feel better. He's asleep after hours of crying, his little body exhausted from it and she jumps at the sound of someone knocking on the door. Judging by the expression on his face, she looks like a mess.

"What did he do?" Killian asks instantly.

"He didn't show to pick up Henry…" She says softly, "And he stole my Christmas tree."

"He didn't show?" He asks, walking in when she steps aside, she gestures at the couch where Henry is in a little ball, sleeping. "He took your tree?" She nods, "Where the hell did you find this guy?"

"In a car." She says softly and he looks confused at that but she doesn't clarify. "Long story." Is all she says. "I need a shower, can you-"

"I got it, love." And she heads upstairs to take a long and well-deserved shower and afterward, she tries to call Neal again but he doesn't answer. If he wants to make her feel bad for falling asleep at Killian's, this is not the way to do it. When she comes back downstairs she nearly falls over, Henry is curled up at Killian's side and he's telling him a story, something about the Greek gods, the clean version. He doesn't see her at first, just keeps going.

"...and Hades was the most misunderstood of them all- Oh hey." He smiles at her when he catches her staring.

"Whatcha doing?"

"Get your coat."

"Why?"

"Does she always ask so many questions?" He whispers it to Henry but he makes sure it's loud enough for her to hear. He nods, a little smile on his lips and her heart squeezes. She rolls her eyes but gets her coat anyways.

He takes her to the huge store outside of town, Henry excitedly bouncing in the backseat. It's the place she never shops at, except for once with Neal to get her tree...which he stole and it dawns on her as he reaches over and undoes her seatbelt.

"What are we doing here?" She asks slowly.

"Again with the questions, Swan."

"Killian." She says his name, firm, assertive, but he just smirks, taking Henry's hand in his and leading the way.

He's chatting with Henry as they walk, asking about school, his favorite books, movies, typical questions you ask a five-year-old. She finds out that Killian's favorite movie is _The Crow_ , adding on quickly that that little revenge story is best saved for when he's older.

She doesn't know, she's never seen it…

"Killian, I can't afford this right now." She whispers as they stand in the aisle with all the Christmassy stuff and he gives her a look like he has no idea what she's talking about.

"Did I say you were paying, love?" He asks as he drops a pack of ornaments in the cart.

"No, I can't let you do that-"

"We're already doing it." He smirks at her, "So, tree's." He gestures at the row of different plastic tree's, an assortment of colors, the pink one just screams Mary Margaret. She just goes with the traditional green and he puts the box in the cart.

Not only does the man buy her a crap ton of Christmas stuff she'll probably never get around to using, he buys them lunch too.

When they get back to her place, he and Henry set it up, he's giving her a quizzical look as she pulls out her phone and tries to call Neal again.

"What do ya say, Swan, white lights or multicolored?" He asks

"Uuuuh...I don't know, white?" She says over the sound of ringing and Henry goes with multi-colored.

"I think so too." He smirks, already unstringing them. She's in the kitchen now, dialing Neal again, tapping her foot in frustration as she leaves yet another voicemail. Killian grabs her shoulders to stop her from pacing a hole in the tiled floor.

"Give me the phone." He says and she gives him a look, "Love, he's not coming." He says gently and her shoulders slump, she's not ready to give up yet.  
"What i-"

"Give. Me. The. Phone." He holds his hand out and she reluctantly gives it up. He puts it in his pocket, "No more calling, you've all you can do. Now come help me and Henry."

"Killian-"

"Do I have to drag you by your ankles because I'll do it." She doesn't want to challenge him on that so she just nods and lets him pull her by the hand back out in the living room where Henry has somehow managed to tangle himself up in the lights.

She still feels like it's too early to have the tree up, but it made Henry happy and she felt a little more relaxed with the soft glow of the lights casting a cozier feeling in the room. It's late now, Henry is asleep in her lap and they're watching a movie, she doesn't know what it is, she just went with it and she's not really watching it anyway. She's too busy trying to figure out why Neal never showed.

"Maybe he has a good reason," Killian says softly, fingers brushing lightly against her leg, stretched in his lap. She snorts.

" _Right._ "

"You don't really think he'd be that childish, do you? You spend one night with me and he abandons his kid?"

"You don't know Neal." She says softly, "What did I see in him?" Maybe it was a first love thing. Maybe she was so desperate for someone to want her for once in her life that she blinded herself from his childish behavior. Killian shrugs. "Thank you…" She says softly, "For today, for distracting Henry…"

"No thanks needed, Swan. I was happy to help."

"What were you doing in town anyway?"

"Elsa needed help with something and Liam is out of town."

"Where did Liam go?" She asks, shifting, Henry stirring in her arms.

"He's on some sort of assignment."

"Assignment?"

"He volunteered." He says, "Military escort." She doesn't know what that is, she doesn't know if she wants to ask, but he tells her anyway. "When a soldier is killed in duty overseas or something, another is in charge of making sure the body gets home. That's what he's doing."

"Oh." She says softly, that's...a depressing assignment. She didn't even know he was once in the service. "Where is he?"

"Right now he's in Colorado. Or the last I heard. He's not really supposed to call on duty." She nods, that makes sense. Killian gets up, setting her legs down in his spot and then he's crouching down, taking Henry from her arms. "It's late. I'll put him to bed, love." She doesn't say anything, just lets him do it. He's so gentle.

When he comes back down the stairs she can't seem to stop the question from falling from her lips.

"Did you and Milah want kids?" She asks and he freezes, blinking at her. Such a random question, she knows but he's so good with Henry she just had to ask. He doesn't answer her right away, sits down, leaning back, letting her put her feet back on his lap.

"We…" He starts, "We were trying when she died." He says it so softly and she sits up slowly.

"I...I'm sorry."

"She was a little older than me, not like...cougar old." He shrugs, "And she lost a baby before me, she thought it was too late to even think about trying but I convinced her it wasn't and she got a hold of a fertility specialist a year after we started trying."

"It never happened."

"No." He shakes his head, "which broke her because she knew how bad I wanted it. It broke me too...but I was okay with it just being us and then she brought home a puppy."

"She got you, Smee?"

"He was the last thing she gave me, right before the accident." He sighs, "Any particular reason you're asking?" He asks giving her a look.

"Slow your roll, buddy, I'm not pregnant."

"How unfortunate." He says with a smirk, "We've been married for how long? 'Bout time we start thinking about it." She rolls her eyes, curling into his side.

"Shut up." She mutters, "Did you guys consider adopting, lots of homeless foster kids."

"We talked about that, but it's expensive and we had already used up our savings on failed fertility drugs."

"I'm sorry."

"It just wasn't meant to be." He says softly, "Elsa and Liam don't know...so, uh…"

"I won't say anything." She says, her stomach twisting. It must have been awful for him to find out Elsa and Liam were having a baby when he and Milah tried so hard for one, and it turned out to be twins. She's pregnant again too and she wonders if he knows. It might be too early for her to tell anyone, Emma still feels bad for blurting her suspicion out; she may not have wanted to say anything.

* * *

It turns out that Elsa knew they were trying. Emma didn't bring it up, Elsa just expressed her fear of telling Killian there's a new niece or nephew for him on the way. She's pouring hot cocoa into a mug for Emma. It's Sunday morning, she invited her over after finding Emma and Henry at the library.

"He doesn't know that you know," Emma says softly, blowing on the hot liquid. She can hear the boys playing in the living room.

"Milah came over one night, while Liam was still at the school. She was so upset after the doctors told her the likelihood of her getting pregnant were very slim." Elsa sighs, "It was awful. She was so worried about what Killian would say. She felt like she was failing him." She tips her drink to her lips, "Adding insult to injury, at the time she walked in I had set my positive pregnancy test on the counter for Liam to find when he got home and…" She shakes her head.

"Oh god."

"She was happy for me, but...obviously she was pretty upset. So I suggested they get a pet, it might help and she went to the animal shelter that night." Elsa sets her mug down, cupping it with her hands, "Ever think about having more?"

"Cocoa? Yes."

"Kids." She laughs, "A sibling for Henry."

"Uh…" She never thought about it, not even after Henry turned three and Neal suggested it randomly one night while they were watching him play on the floor. "I don't...know."

"You could get lucky," She smirks, "Could be twins."

"I would die."

"It's not so bad."

"Maybe for you."

"It's nice having Liam here to help." She says softly.  
"Hopefully there's only one in there, this time," Emma says gesturing at her stomach. Elsa nods frantically.

"Obviously having a child is a blessing but lord help me if there's more than one in there." She smiles, "Liam would never admit it but I think he's hoping for a girl."

"Are you hoping for a girl?" Emma asks raising her eyebrow.

"Can you blame me? It's a damn sausage fest in here." Emma bursts out laughing at that.

"What are we laughing at?" Liam asks, walking through the front door and Elsa launches herself out of her seat and into his arms.

"I wasn't expecting you back so soon!" She smiles, pressing a kiss to his lips and he throws his bag on the floor and leans into it. " _Company…_ " She breathes against his lips but he doesn't stop and neither does she. Emma clears her throat before they can start undressing each other and Elsa jumps back like she just got tased.

"Sorry." She says softly.

"I'm not," Liam smirks, she can definitely see the resemblance between him and Killian now. Emma makes a gagging sound and he laughs.

"Like you're any better."

"Whatever do you mean?" Emma asks.

"Saw you and my brother on the back porch, princess, you're not fooling anyone." He winks at her.

"What were you two _doing_ on my back porch?" Elsa asks shooting her a look.

"Oh you know, making out like two horny teenagers," Liam says.

"Oh, scandalous."

"It was _not_ like that," Emma says, feeling the need to defend herself.

"I didn't see it, so I don't know." Elsa shrugs, heading over to the fridge, Liam follows her.

"It looked something liiiikkkeee _this._ " He's quick, catching Elsa off guard and slamming his lips into hers, pretty much crushing her against the fridge. She gives a little yelp but eventually just melts into it. It's long and messy and Emma feels really awkward like this is something she is not supposed to be witnessing.

Ruby would _kill_ to be here right now.

He pulls away, but not before grabbing her ass for good measure and she sputters something unintelligible as he takes his leave, picking his bag up from where he dropped it, a teasing grin on his lips. Elsa sends a helpless look her way and Emma waves a hand dismissively.

"Go." She says.

" _Ohmygodthankyou,_ " she says breathlessly, before taking off down the hall after him.

"BE QUIET!" Emma shouts, shaking her head. _This family._

* * *

A/N: This chapter isn't as long, but I hope it's satisfactory.


	10. Chapter 10

It's the way he sounds over the phone that has her hauling ass to the university to see what the hell was going on. She glares at him when she finds him in his classroom, feet propped up on his desk, reading a book, looking a lot like he's _not dying._

"You made me think there was something wrong." She says walking in and closing the door. Killian tilts his head at her, a smirk on his lips.

"Whatever made you think that?"

"You sounded like something was wrong?"

"Nah, I just missed you." He says and she rolls her eyes, "Have a seat, Swan."

"No, I'm leaving." She says turning towards the door and then she hears him get up and it stops her. "Seriously what did you want?" She asks.

"You don't really want to leave do you?"

"I want to know what you wanted."

"Mhm." He smirks, "Come over here and you'll find out."

"What are you gonna do?" She asks, eyeing him and he rolls his eyes. "This some weird...sexual proposition?"

"Only if you want it to be." He winks at her and she shakes her head.

"Ew." She says turning back to the door, "Bye Jones."

"Don't leave."

"I'm not into-"

"I have something for you."

"Me?"

"Yes, you. Come. Here." He says making a _come here_ , motion with his finger and she does, still a little afraid of what he might do, it's been a week since she last saw him. He grabs her wrist, pulls her close with a yelp and silences her with a kiss.

"Is that what you had for me?" She asks when he pulls away, involuntarily chasing his lips but he just smirks instead of answering and walks back to his desk. Killian pulls out a little rectangular white box, with a damn near perfectly tied red ribbon around it.

"What's that?" She asks

"Open it and find out." He says, handing it to her, she takes it but she doesn't open it.

"But I didn't get you anything."

"The best gift you could ever give me is your beautiful smile."

"God, shut up." She laughs, "That was cheesy, even for you."

"Open it, Swan."

"Okay, okay." She says as she sits down in the chair next to his desk, she doesn't want to, but she unties the ribbon and lifts the lid. She tilts her head, "A key? To where- if you say to your heart I'm actually going to deck you." He laughs.

"No, to my house." He says, "I'm not that cheesy, Swan."

"Mmhmm." She takes the key out, "So I can break in whenever I want?"

"Not really breaking in if you have a key."

"Thank you."

"So, what are you doing today? Any plans?"

"Well, Neal picked Henry up a few hours ago, so really nothing. Why?" She asks, "Plan on making me put this key to use?" She asks as she slips it's on her keychain and he tosses something at her.

"Not at the moment."

"Ow." She says, picking up what he threw in her lap, it's a movie, she squints at him, "The Crow?"

"You mentioned you've never watched it." He shrugs, "Which I can't even fathom."

"Maybe it's not as popular as you think, Jones."

"Maybe." He says, "But you're watching it. How am I married to someone who's never seen it?"

"I don't know, buddy." She tosses it back at him, "Are we watching it here?" She asks, looking around. If so, then on what?

"I have a projector."

"Did you bring popcorn too?"

"No food in my classroom, Swan." He says, opening the case, "Turn off the lights."

"Bossy."

"You love it."

She's comfortable, curled up in his chair with him, half on him and half off, watching. They're about halfway through it now, but she's starting to kind of doze off, not because it's boring, she's just tired. She was up for a while with Henry.

"Killian."

"Hm?"

"I'm falling asleep." She says softly, "Can we finish this another time?" He pauses it.

"Of course."

* * *

She almost tells him over the phone, she almost tells him she loves him, but something twists in her gut. It's fear, that's what it is, rearing its ugly head in her belly and she doesn't say it, just says goodnight and hangs up. It's too soon anyway, and what if she says it and he leaves? Or he says it back but doesn't really mean it?

She's not sure she can take another meaningless _I love you_ from anyone. Not after Neal.

"Is it bad that I'm like...two hundred percent done with this pregnancy already?" Elsa asks, cutting her thoughts. She's sitting next to her on the couch, Emma had started coming over a little more often, sometimes bringing Mary Margaret with her but today it's just her.

"Is it that bad?"

"Morning sickness is terrible." She groans, "You'd think it'd be easier the second time around."

"Were you sick with the twins?"

"No. I was just really mean." She says, "Poor Liam."

"I'm sure he understood." Emma laughs.

"He did." She sighs, "He's perfect, I love Liam."

"I hope you do." Emma nods, "It'd be a little awkward if you didn't."

"Yeah. How are you and Killian doing?"

"Fine."

"Just, fine?"

"Yeah." She sits up from her face down position and walks over to where Emma is, taking a seat.

"Everything okay?" She asks, she's doing that thing that she finds herself always doing, Elsa's fingers find a lock of Emma's hair and she starts to braid it. "Don't lie to me, I played dirty on the playground." Emma shrugs. Everything is fine, great actually but she just has this feeling that soon, it's all going to blow up.

"How long after you and Liam started dating did you wait to tell him you loved him?"

"I didn't."

"What?"

"I didn't wait." She says, "I told him, I guess I didn't really tell him. I never outright said I love you. I just...casually informed him that I was falling in love with him and if he wanted to leave that was okay."

"And what did he say?"

"Told me he wasn't leaving and I'd have to try harder to get him to." She says, "I wasn't really trying to get him to, I never wanted him to leave me. I guess I just wasn't used to the attention. I wasn't used to someone looking at me like I hung the damn moon in the sky. Which, I think, is something we have in common."

"You weren't used to it?"

"Anna is usually the one people pine after. I meant it when I told you I thought he was flirting with her and not me. Anna is...fun and bubbly and everyone loves her, I'm more closed off and I can be cold without meaning to be. I had never been pursued before, not by anyone who wanted anything serious, or something they couldn't get from my sister." She shrugs, "I thought if I ignored him he would go away or move onto Anna, but he didn't. Feelings are more manageable when you pretend not to have them."

"Yeah," Emma whispers.

"What you two talking about?" Liam asks as he walks him, the boys taking off upstairs in a loud clatter of feet and giggles.

"You." Elsa smiles and he presses a kiss to the top of her head.

"Good things, I hope."

"Always." She says, "How was work?"

"Fine."

"And the park?"  
"The boys had fun." He says, brushing the hair the strayed from her braid out od her face, "Do you feel better?"

"Yes."

"I got you some medicine, that stuff you had last time. Belle said it might help."

"Thank you." She smiles, pulls him down so she can kiss him, a soft peck on his lips and then she's curling up into a ball on the couch with her head in Emma's lap. "See? Perfect."

* * *

He tells her in the dark, the room only illuminated by the glow of the lights on her tree, her legs are tangled with his on the couch under a blanket. She's dozing off when he says it, only half sure that she heard him correctly. Emma asks a soft, "what?" And when he says it again, it's clearer, louder, the words bouncing around in her head before settling low in her stomach, weighing down in there.

She untangles herself from him and he must see the fear in her eyes because he's reaching for her. She leans away from him.

"Emma-"

"Get out." It's barely a whisper and at first, he doesn't hear her, head tilting in confusion and when she says it again, it's clearer, louder, the words bouncing around in his head before settling low in his stomach. "Please, get out." She doesn't wait long enough to see if he moves, or if she says anything because she darts upstairs and closes her bedroom door.

"Swan?!" Killian calls for her, but he doesn't follow. If there's anything this man was good at, it was understanding.

That may be one trait she hates and loves so much about him.

After a while of her trying and failing to calm down with her back against her bedroom door, she hears the front door open and close and then hears Killian's car pull away. He's gone and she made him leave. Emma closes her eyes and slides down to the floor, head on her knees, she's already thinking about calling him, apologizing, telling him she probably loves him too.

She never ends up doing it, she left her phone downstairs and her legs are wobbly enough as she climbs in bed. She spends hours watching the ceiling fan spin, counting how many times it makes a clicking noise.

 _Thirty-four_ , she's at thirty-four before she finally falls asleep.

When she sees Neal the next day, she tells him that he broke her and earns herself a look of confusion.

"Killian...told me he loved me last night and instead of saying it back, I kicked him out." And he nods because he understands, he understands what he did had made a lasting impression on her, an insecure, unwanted feeling tugging at her insides.

"Do you want me to take Henry until you figure this out?" It's soft when he asks it and it's as much of an apology he can bring himself to give and she shakes her head. She can't pawn her son off because she messed up or because she doesn't feel okay. Neal is looking at her, probably wanting to say more but not knowing how to do it. That's the thing about the two of them, part of the reason they worked well enough together, was because they were never good at articulating their feelings. Talking about serious things, things like this, it just never happened.

In a world where everything seems to be changing, some things stay the same.

"Em." Neal says softly, "I know what I did was terrible."

"Yeah."

"All those times I told you I loved you and then...ran off to be with Tamara and I know you think they were just words and I don't expect you to believe me when I tell you this, but never once did I lie to you." He says softly, "I did love you, I still love you."

"You were just never in love with me."

"I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to mess you up, I never meant any of that, my actions contradict that and sometimes I can be...an ass." He shrugs, "But I meant it every time I told you I loved you because I did. Remember what I told you in the parking lot after you-"

"Caught you with Tamara."

"Yeah." He nods, "I asked if you ever…" He shakes his head, "If you met someone and suddenly it's like you can breathe. You've been walking through life actively breathing and not knowing that you're not really _breathing_ and then you find that one person and it's like your lungs finally inflate and you take your first intake of oxygen and it's full?" She gives him a look, trying to figure out where the hell he was going with this, but he continues, "Just being with that person is warm and...disgustingly comfortable all at once and even the thought of losing that person, that person who introduced you to this new way of breathing is enough to put you right back to not actually _breathing_."

"I-"

"You never looked at me like that." He says softly, "You tell me I was never in love with you, you were never in love with me, Em. We were put in a situation that forced us to stay together, forced us to make it work. We never really fit together because we were never meant to be permanent."

"I think this is the most you've ever said to me." She says softly. He laughs. "So, if you were okay with me and Killian the whole time, why-"

"I was jealous." He shrugs and she gives him a look, "Not because he has you because you looked at him like he was- he's the source of your breathing, Emma. You never looked at me like that. It sounds weird, I know, but you catching me with Tamara was probably the best thing that happened to you, you accidentally marrying someone else- which is still such a weird turn of events- was probably the best thing to happen to me. I hope one day we can look back at this and laugh at how stupid we both were."

"Can I hate you just a little longer?"

"I was pretty shitty to you." He says softly, "Can I hate Killian a little longer?"

"He's not very fond of you anyways." She shrugs, "So, yeah."

"Okay." He turns to leave and as he walks to his car, she calls for him.

"Hey, Neal?"

"Yeah?" He says as he turns around.

"Why'd you wait so long to tell me this?"

"Would you have listened if I had?" He asks

"Probably not."

"See? You were never a very good listener."  
"You're an ass."

"You're no walk in the park either, Em." He laughs and she laughs too.

* * *

She never really gets around to calling him, things piling up and keeping her busy and if he calls her, she doesn't see it. Henry has a project due by the end of the week, the last assignment due before the holidays and as she helps him stick little cut outs onto a poster board, he asks her a million questions that she can't answer because she really doesn't know.

Killian probably would.

"Where's Killian?" Henry asks as he presses a tiny cut out snowman on the board and she freezes with the glue stick still pressed to the back of the index card she was about to press down.

"At home, why?" She asks.

"Why isn't he here?"

"He's busy."

"He's always here when he's busy," Henry says matter of factly.

"Okay, but he's really busy, this time." He's quiet, thinking it over, she can see the tiny wheels in his head working and she curses herself for giving birth to a tiny genius.

"Are you mad at each other?"

"What?" She asks, "No."

"Then why isn't he here?"

"I just told you, kid."

"Then why were you crying last night?" She bites her lip, damns her thin walls and Henry's impeccable observation skills. She doesn't answer, just grabs him and lifts him up.

"Only because I missed you so much!" She exclaims and he laughs as she presses a kiss to his cheek.

"I have to finish my-"

"Hey." She says softly, "I love you, you know that right?"

"I love you too, mommy." He smiles and wraps his arms around her neck. "But you have to put me down."

"Aw, why?"

"Because my project isn't going to finish itself."

"You don't have to do it all tonight."

"But I want to."

" _Nerd_." She smiles and he laughs, "Ah, I'm just kidding, but it is late, how about we do more tomorrow night?"

"Okay." She shifts him in her arms.

"God, you're getting so heavy. I miss when you were tiny."

"I can't shrink."

"I wish you could."

"No." He shakes his head, "I can't shrink, but you can just have another one."

"Is that what you want?" She asks, "A sibling for Christmas?"

"It'd be kind of nice."

"Yeah? Well, I hate to tell you but it doesn't work like that, I'm afraid they wouldn't get here in time for Christmas."

"That's okay." He says, "I'm known for my patience." She rolls her eyes.

"Well, that's one thing we don't have in common. Okay." She says, putting him down, "Go get ready for bed, kiddo. I'll clean this up." He runs upstairs and she sets about cleaning up the kitchen, sweeping up scraps of paper and wiping stray blobs of glue off the table. She checks her phone, but she doesn't have any new messages or missed calls. She calls Killian but he doesn't answer, it hurts more than it should.

She stands in the bathroom, tears streaming down her face, a pregnancy test on the edge of the sink she can't bring herself to look at.

She wants it to be negative, she needs it to be negative. She misses him, she misses him so much but she messed up and if this is positive, she doesn't want him to feel like he has to stay. She takes a deep breath before looking at it, flipping it over.

One bold line and its negative, she gives a sigh of relief, looking at it like it might change even though she gave it longer than the instructions said to.

She tosses it in the trash and tells herself she'll take another one in a few days just to make sure.

Not because she's a little disappointed even after telling herself how badly she needed it to be negative.

She calls him again and he still doesn't answer so she goes to bed with a heavy feeling settling itself in her limbs.

Ruby isn't quite as understanding, she's more confused than anything as she walks with Emma to the bus stop to pick up Henry. Today is the last day and he's off for two weeks, he'll be staying with Neal for one.

"So, he told you he loved you and you kicked him out?" Ruby asks, "And now he isn't answering your calls."

"Yeah."

"It's a really busy time for him, it probably doesn't mean he isn't desperate to talk to you." She's right, today is Killian's last day too, and he has finals to worry about grading and probably lots of paperwork. Emma doesn't tell her she's taken three pregnancy tests this week either. All of them were negative so she knows she's not. Maybe she's hoping it happens so she has more of a reason to see him.

"I just miss him."

"Go to him?"

"I don't want to bother him."

"You could never bother that man." Ruby says softly, "After Neal picks up Henry."

"Sure." She says, but she doesn't. After Neal picks up Henry she decides against it.

She doesn't have a reason for it.

She lays in bed that night, calls him a few times, he doesn't answer. He called her earlier but she _missed it_.

At this point, they're playing phone tag. She types out a message, an _I love you too_ , but she doesn't send it. She doesn't want that to be how she tells him. She counts sheep to try and fall asleep but it doesn't work, she gets to one hundred and she's still wide awake.

It's three a.m. and she's staring at her keys, his key on her chain. _Screw this._

She gets dressed and heads out, ignoring how hard it's snowing as she gets in her car and sets out for his place, he's probably sleeping by now but she doesn't care. If she's quiet she can just crawl into bed with him and sleep.

She's close when it happens, her phone starts ringing in the passenger seat and she looks away from the road for two seconds to see Ruby's name lighting up her screen. She looks back, snow covering her windshield and she can't see but she keeps going because she thinks she's going the right way.

She slams her car right into a guardrail, the crash of the front of her car crushing against the railing covering up the loud ringing of her phone.

* * *

She comes to sometime later, a little bit dazed and a whole lot of sore. She tries to open her door but she can't, it slams against something, a tree branch? It's a good thing she didn't try and get out that way because she doesn't see the road there, she sees a drop, the driver side is on top of the rail, almost falling but not.

Well, that's fantastic.

She can hear her phone buzzing, it fell somewhere under the seat and she doesn't where it is. Emma crawls over to the passenger side, her head screaming at her to stop moving because it hurts. She pushes the door open, groaning she pulls herself out and steps into the snow. This is the point she realizes her shoe fell off, one foot bare and cold against the snow and ice. She looks around for it, still not completely processing what happened but she doesn't find it.

"Where's my…" She runs a hand through her hair, hand pulling away when she feels something sticky, "Oh." Its blood, just a little bit, covering her palm and she looks around again.

 _Where is her damn shoe?_

She starts walking, she's really close to Killians, well within walking distance, her keys dangling by the tip of her finger. Her foot hurts...she must have stepped in the glass if she had her shoe that wouldn't be much of a problem.

She can see that it's leaving a bloody footprint in the snow and she curses herself for taking her shoe for granted, she's going to get blood on the floor and Killian will be mad at her, he won't love her anymore and it's all because she lost her shoe.

It takes her a minute to get the key in the keyhole because she's shaking, she doesn't know why; she isn't cold. She eventually gets it in, twisting the knob quietly and then going in. The lights are off and she frowns.

He's sleeping, how can he possibly be sleeping?

Smee runs to her, tail wagging, gives a sniff and then a whine. She must look like she walked out of a horror movie. All cut up and bloody, but she's not really in any pain. Smee runs down the hallway and scratches at Killian's door, runs back to her, whines goes back and scratches at Killian's bedroom door again. He does this three times before she hears a noise from the bedroom, the door opening, and closing.

"What buddy?" Killian asks and Smee takes off towards her a little howl and a whine and Killian turns on the lights.

The look on his face is pure horror.

"Emma." He whispers and then he's rushing to her, "What the hell happened? What happened?" He's cupping her face, touching her arms, hands resting on her hips as he looks her over, and she smiles at him because she missed him and she loves him and she should tell him but when she opens her mouth to say it, she says something else.

"I lost my shoe." She says softly, "I'm getting blood on the floor, you probably hate me for it, I'm sorry."

"No, baby, it's okay, it's okay." He whispers touching her head and she winces, flinching away from his touch. He's never called her that before, maybe jokingly but never seriously. It makes her stomach do a weird twisty thing and her chest get all... _warm._

"I'm tired."

"I'm taking you to the hospital."

"But it doesn't hurt."

"That's because you're in shock." She nods and he dresses quickly and then when he's back, he ushers her out the door.

* * *

A/N: Guys whoever left the comment about asking Santa for an update, you made me laugh. It's been a bit of a wait, I'm sorry. I got you guys so used to daily updates and then just disappeared. Hi, hello, I'm back. This ones a long one, I hope you enjoy.


	11. Chapter 11

"Looks like you have a concussion." The doctor says as he puts a bandage over the small cut above her eye. "Everything else seems fine."

"Fantastic." Emma says softly, "Can I leave now?"

"Swan, the police are here."

"Why?"

"Wouldn't have anything to do with you leaving the scene of an accident or something." He shrugs and she rolls her eyes. "They want to talk to you."

"Wow, I never would have guessed."

"I don't have the energy to deal with your sarcasm," Killian smirks as he hands her a cup of coffee, it smells like cough syrup but she drinks it anyway. She almost chokes on it when Graham strolls in, looking a little annoyed and a whole lot of disappointed.

"Good morning, Emma." He sighs, "What did you do?"

"I think the answers kind of obvious, Graham."

"Do you guys know each other?" Killian's eyes are darting between them, mild confusion with a hint of curiosity lining his features. Emma just nods but decides not to offer much of an explanation. He goes to say something else but his phone starts to ring and he leaves the room, closing the door on his way out.

"Okay, you know the drill, just tell me what happened and we both can go home."

"I would if I could remember what all happened."  
"Just tell me what you do remember." So she does, tells him she was driving, her phone rang, the next thing she knew Killian was taking her to the hospital.

"Emma, you hit a guardrail."

"Oh."

"Your car almost went over it. I'm surprised it didn't, that would have killed you."

"Oh god, my car." She whispers, "How bad is it?"

"The damage isn't bad but it'll be expensive finding a shop that'll have the parts to fix it since it's an old model." He shrugs, "I have to ask-"

"I wasn't drinking."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Did you take anything before going out? Any medication?"

"Nope."

"Hm." He nods.

"What?" She asks.

"I'm just trying to figure out what you were doing driving around in that blizzard." She shrugs.

"It was dumb."

"No doubt about that."

"Hey."

"Do you remember leaving the scene of the accident?" He asks

"No."

"Okay." He says softly, "Um, usually what happens in this type of offense is you'd get fined, you'll have to pay for the guardrail, since you didn't report the accident, you walked away from the scene, and I hate to say it, Emma,, but you don't necessarily have a clean record I'm not sure how easy a judge is going to go on you."

"Which means?"

"You could be facing jail time." Graham says softly, "Up to a year."

"A year? For a small- I didn't kill anyone."

"It's the law, Emma."  
"It's dumb."

"I don't make the rules."

"I can't go to jail. What'll happen to Henry?"

"Neal will likely get custody of him," Graham says and she runs a hand through her hair.

"And if something happens to Neal?"

"He'll most likely be placed into the foster system-"  
" _No._ "

"I will do whatever I can to make sure that doesn't happen, just try to avoid the jail time."

"And how do I do that?"

"Make a good impression on the judge Monday morning at nine a.m." He says, "It'll be okay, Emma."

* * *

Monday morning rolls around and she's a mess, shaking, downing coffee like it's going to somehow get her out of this hole she dug herself into.

"If you keep drinking all of this coffee you're going to have a heart attack," Ruby says as she reaches for her cup. Emma yanks it away.

"Back off."

"Everything is going to be fine, Em."

"Probably not, but thanks."

"You're so optimistic."

"If you wanted optimism you should have brought Mary Margaret." Emma says softly, she sits next to her friend on the small bench outside of the courtroom, "I hope I don't end up in jail."

"You probably won't."

"I don't have a very clean record."

"It's not like you hit the guardrail on purpose and, this is your first offense in the vehicle department."

"...I never told you how I met Neal, did I?"  
"You never got caught for that," Ruby smirks. "Anyways, where is Killian?"

"I have no idea."

"I feel like your husband should be present for this."

"He'll probably show up at some point."

"Hey, if you go to prison at least you can look forward to the conjugal visits."

"Please, the way I'd look in an orange jumpsuit, I doubt it."

"On the contrary, Swan, you're beautiful no matter what you wear." She jumps when she hears him, nearly spilling her coffee in her lap.

"God damn, put a bell on," Emma says softly, standing up, "Took you long enough."

"Sorry, love. What time did they say this would start?"  
"Soon, why? In a hurry to see me get handcuffed?"

"Emma, you're not going to jail."

"Eh. Don't, she doesn't do optimism." Ruby says, "Not today at least."

"Killian."

"Hm?

"I need to talk to you."

"Okay. We don't have a lot of-"

"Please." She says softly, and when he nods she takes his hand and leads him to the bathroom, locking the door. "I love you."

"What?"  
"I was going to tell you the night of the accident but, you know, and I figured I should tell you before I end up in a cell for a year."

"You're not going to end up in a c-"

"There's no possible way for you to know for sure. And there's something else."

"What?"

"If I do go to jail…" She says softly, "Please don't freak out."

"Depends on what you're asking me."

"I need you to adopt Henry." He gives her a look and she quickly continues, "Neal won't take him. I know he won't, it's hard enough getting him to take him for more than three days and I hate saying it but...if he were asked to terminate his parental rights he probably wouldn't hesitate."

"Emma."

"He can't go in the system, he can't."

"Okay, Emma, I really can't guarantee that'll work."

"At least try."

"I'll try."  
"Thank you."

"But you're not going to jail."

"Killian-" she's interrupted by a knock and then Ruby's voice.

"Hey guys, I hate to break whatever's going on in there up, but it's almost time. So, uh, yeah finish it up." Emma sighs.

"Here we go." She says and then she's headed for the door.

"Hey, Swan."

"Killian we should really-"

"I love you too."

She doesn't end up in jail, which was the most surprising turn of events, she almost fell over when the judge said it. She does, however, have to pay a whopping one thousand seven hundred dollars for the guardrail.

"I feel like that's a lot for a guardrail," Ruby mutters as they walk out of the courthouse.

"You didn't see what she did to it." Killian says as he links his fingers with Emma's, "See, Swan? Told you; you weren't going to jail."  
"Yeah yeah, you were right. I'm still shocked. That guy was way too nice if it were anyone else I would have gone to jail."

"It's almost the holidays too, that might have helped you," Ruby says softly. "Anyways, I'm going to assume you're riding with Killian so I'll leave you now."

"Have fun at work."  
"Ha." She shakes her head, "Fun. That's hilarious." Emma rolls her eyes as she leaves.

"So, where to?"

* * *

I'm almost afraid to go in," Killian whispers.

"I wonder what they're doing."

"I don't." He says and then they both tilt their head at the next noise that comes through the door.

"Give me it!"

"No, get off of me." Liam sounds calm, Elsa just sounds like she's going insane. Emma raises an eyebrow.  
"Maybe we should come back later."

"Nope, I'm going in," Killian says and then he's opening the door but neither of them crosses the threshold. "Hello?" He says as he slowly makes his way in the house, Emma follows him. Elsa and Liam are in the kitchen, Elsa is wrapped around Liam's neck like a scarf, one hand in his hair and the other stretched reaching for the cup he's holding out of her reach. His other hand is around her waist and she's pretty sure that's the only thing keeping Elsa from falling backward.

"Uh...bad time?" Killian asks.

"No. Tell him to give me the coffee." Elsa says stretching some more to try and reach it.

"Elsa, I can do this all day, you're not as heavy as you think you are."

"Have fun with that, you're going to have two boys climbing on you in a minute if you don't give me the coffee."

"The doctor said no."

"The doctor can shut his _face._ "

"Okay one, that didn't make sense, two you are not allowed to have any caffeine."  
"How long have you guys been...like that?" Emma asks.

"Thirty minutes."

"Liam. Please."

"Nope."

"I just want to smell it."

"That's…" Liam shakes his head, "If I bring the cup towards you, you're going to drink it. I know you."

"I promise I won't."

"Your empty promises mean nothing to me."

"We can come back-"  
"No, it's fine, she'll get tired eventually." Liam says, "Ow." He flinches when Elsa pulls on his hair.

"Oh hush, you like it."  
"Not when you do it that hard."

"Ew." Killian makes a face, "I didn't need to hear that."

"I second that," Emma says softly. Liam rolls his eyes. Killian walks over with a shake of his head, takes the cup, and sets it on top of the fridge.

"Thank you," Liam says

"Did. You. Just- You're no longer my favorite." Elsa glares at Killian, her statement earning her quite the look from Liam.

" _He's_ your favorite?" He exclaims, "You do know you married me, right?"

"Unfortunately."

" _Elsa._ "

"They're really always like this, aren't they?" Emma whispers.

"I wasn't kidding when I said it. Welcome to the family." They watch as Elsa twists herself around until she's safely on the floor again and Liam is still gaping at her.

"Don't worry, you're on my list." Elsa says with a smirk, "right under Ruby."

"RUBY!?"

"Mmmhm." She nods her head and smiles sweetly.

"Anyways." Killian says slowly, "Emma didn't wind up with a jail sentence."

"Great." Liam smiles taking his eyes off Elsa for a second, doesn't notice her slowly inching her way towards the kitchen counter. Emma almost says something but before she can, the woman is already standing in the counter with the coffee cup retrieved from the top of the fridge.

"Hey!" Liam shouts snapping his head in her direction, "Elsa don't you dare."

"I just want to smell it." He glares at her. "Please?"

"Are you crying?"

"I'm pregnant." She says softly, "And you're mean."

"For god sake, Liam let her smell it," Killian says.

"If she drinks it, it's on you."

"Yay." Elsa smiles, sitting on the counter with her cup and she breathes in the coffee.

"How is it?"

"It doesn't smell as nice as earlier."

"Because it's not fresh."  
"You should make more."

"No," Liam says, pushing a stray piece of hair that fell out of her braid, behind her ear. "Go get dressed."

"Are you guys going somewhere?"

"Ingrid wants us to do a thing. Elsa is stalling." Liam says with a shrug.

"She doesn't like me, she never has."

"That's not true."

"You only think that because she actually likes you and treats me better if you're there." Elsa says softly, "And Anna won't be over until later which means I'm the recipient of all her passive remarks." She leaves the room, setting the cup she fought so hard for in the sink.

* * *

"I keep forgetting we're married," Emma says softly from the couch and Killian gives her a look as he hands her a cup of hot chocolate. "You know?"

"No, I don't."

"Hm. It's just I forget until something comes up like insurance or hospital bills and then it's like, oh yeah. I got super drunk and married a random dude and now I have access to a ton of insurance I didn't before."

"Why do you think that is?"

"What is?"

"That you keep forgetting, Swan." He says as he moves her legs so he can sit and then puts them back over his lap.

"I don't know." She shrugs, "Maybe because we don't live together."

"Well, that too, but I was going to say we didn't have a wedding."  
"We did though."

"Okay but neither of us remember it."  
"Right."

"What do you think we should do about that?" He asks and she bites her lip. "We could have one if you want to."  
"We're already married."

"People do it all the time."

"We don't even live together."

"We can."

"Wow, uh. Sloooww down."

"Emma, married couples should live together." He smirks when she makes a face, "Are you that repulsed by the thought of living with me?" She bites her lip again, thinking it over. It's fast, faster than she would like, but she does miss him when he isn't around.

So much she almost died trying to get to him. She must spend a long time thinking it over because he's saying her name to get her attention.  
"Let's do it."

"Alright but I have to be home in-"  
"Not _that_." She rolls her eyes, "The thing."

"Which-"  
"All of it." She sits up and he blinks.

"All of it?"

"You're right, married people should live together. And we should be able to remember our wedding." She says, "So...let's do it."

"Wow. Look at you."

"Huh?"

"A few weeks ago you were locking yourself in rooms because I told you I loved you too soon and now look. You're actually okay with things moving a little faster."

"Hell of a development."

"I'll say."

"But um...not right away, I don't want to just move you in as soon as possible."

"Okay."

"We should look for a house."

"A house."

"And Henry has to help."

"Of course."

"And...it has to have more than two bedrooms." She says softly, ignores the way his eyes flick to her stomach and then back up like he's checking for a bump.

"Swan?"

"I'm not...not right now at least…"

"Are you saying you want to have kids with me?"

"Why wouldn't I want to, have you seen your face? The world needs more of them genes." He doesn't even say anything, just descends upon her, pressed her into the cushions and kisses her like he's never going to see her again.

"I didn't mean right now." She laughs and he kisses her neck. "Oh, another thing."

"What?"

"I'm not planning a wedding. There's a reason Neal and I almost got married in a courthouse."

"Do you want to hire someone?"

"I have someone in mind."

* * *

A/N: Hey it's been a while. I'm sorry, please don't hate me. This update is a bit more light-hearted, sorry for the wait. :)


	12. Chapter 12

Elsa nods her head slowly as she eyes her over the steam rising from her cup. Emma raises a brow.

"Are you going to say anything?" She asks and Elsa opens her mouth to speak, but then closes it, tilts her head.

"Well, I think a wedding sounds like a lovely idea." Anna perks up from by the counter as she tears open a box of cereal.

"I feel like all of our conversations take place in my kitchen," Elsa says softly and then she's standing, grabbing her coat. "Let's go for a walk." Emma throws a look Anna's way and she just shrugs, hopping down from the counter and grabbing her coat as well.

And then they're walking, Elsa holding Anna's arm to keep herself from falling on the thin ice covering the sidewalk.

"You have yet to tell me if you approve," Emma says softly and Elsa shrugs.

"I like it."

"That's reassuring."

"But how soon are we talking?"

"Probably not that soon," Emma says and Elsa nods again. "Why?" She doesn't answer the question, just points at her stomach. "Oh."

"Elsa, you're already halfway through the baby will be here by then." Anna pats her arm, leaning her head on her sister's shoulder.

"Speaking of." Elsa says suddenly, "I have news."

"News?"

"That I can't tell you."

"Then why mention it?"

"Because I'm going to anyways." She says, "Don't tell Liam."

"Because I interact with him on a daily ba-"

"Emma!" Elsa shouts and she stops abruptly, "I need baby names of the feminine variety." Anna gasps loudly and turns on her heels, pulling Elsa to a stop and damn near knocking her over. Emma reaches out to quickly steady her.

"Is it? Are you having a girl!?" Anna's question comes out more as a squeak than actual words and Elsa nods before shushing her.

"Only one though, right?" Emma asks and Elsa glares at her. "I'm just making sure, you know sometimes they miss the other one."

"I made them check."

"So, it's a girl?"

"Yes!" Elsa says excitedly, "And Liam doesn't know, I will kill both of you if you say anything." She gives them both a serious look, but it's soon replaced with a smile. "I'm having a girl."

"That's great." Emma smiles and nearly falls over when Anna pulls her and Elsa into a crushing hug.  
"Ohmygod I'm so excited! A niece!" She says bouncing up and down, "How are you going to tell him? When? Can I be there?"  
"I don't know and no."

"Why?"

"Because I know you and you'll spoil the surprise before the surprise can take place." Elsa says and then she shrugs, "I may just tell him. It's not like it's our first child."

"Still a big deal."

"Yeah, it's your first girl." Emma adds on, "Why be casual?"  
"Eh." Elsa shrugs, "What should I do?" Anna starts spouting off ideas and Emma loses focus, she speaks way too fast for her to keep up anyways. She has no idea how Elsa does it, though she's had decades to get used to Anna's fast-paced words and Emma has only had a few months.

Instead of listening in, her eyes venture to the library where Belle is wrestling with the door and baby Gideon on her hip.

And Will.

What the hell is he doing with Belle? He opens the door for her and they go inside all smiles. Emma must be making a face because Elsa is looking at her with an equally confused one.

"What is it?" She asks.

"Why is Will with Belle?"

"Might have something to do with them dating?" Elsa suggests and Emma gives her a confused look, "Oh you didn't know. Yeah, that's a thing, been a thing for a while."

"Huh," Emma says softly, she doesn't know Belle very well, only interacted with her a few times but she knows the woman has horrible taste in men. From her husband, God rest his soul, to Will. She's smart but way too trusting.

"They're pretty great together, Will is a wildcard but she balances him out. She may even settle him down a bit."

"Anyways, Emmy, how's house hunting?" Anna asks and she wrinkled her nose. Emmy?

"Um. Emma, and brutal." Emma says and Anna tilts her head as they continue walking. "We looked at one yesterday but I didn't like it and then we're supposed to look at one tomorrow, but it's further away from Henry's school so I already hate it."

"You should probably look at it before you decide to veto it."

"I know that's why we're going." Emma shrugs, "I feel like we should wait a little longer."

"Why?"

"We're already going so fast."

"You already married the man, why slow down now?" Elsa asks, "Besides, once you move in together you can go as slow as you like. The wedding doesn't have to happen for years if you don't want it to."

"You're just saying that so you can drop the baby weight before then," Anna says it without even thinking it through and is completely unprepared for the smack Elsa gives her on the back of the head.

"Girl, you better recant that." Elsa snaps, but then she smiles, rubbing the place her hand hit her.

"Sorry."

"Better." Elsa says softly, "Anyways, just do what you feel is best and everything else will fall into place."

* * *

Mary Margaret is waiting for her when she enters the loft, a wide smile on her face as she drags her to the couch. "There's the blushing bride!" She says, smile not faltering.

"Please don't say-" Her eyes go wide, she just asked her last night to help and she already has all of this stuff. Folders and binders and magazine clippings spread out on the coffee table. "Uh wow okay."

"She's been busy," David says from the fridge and Emma nods.

"I can...I can see that." Emma tilts her head to look at her friend, who is sitting down now, "How long have you-"  
"Since you got engaged to Neal."

"Oh…"

"And I decided to keep it all after you said you were just going to city hall, you know in case you two didn't work out."

"Glad to know you had faith in Neal and me."

"You crashed and burned, didn't you?" Mary Margaret asks, standing and tugging Emma down on the couch. "Okay, first things first, what kind of dress are you looking for?"  
"Uuuhhh…"

"Emma."  
"I don't know...I don't really scan bridal magazines humming _Someday My Prince Will Come_ in my bedroom at three a.m."

"Emma."

"On a Saturday."

" _Emma_."

"While my friends try to get me to go out."

"It was one time."

"Doesn't make it less sad," Emma mutters and Mary Margaret glares at her, David, however, is in the kitchen choking on his water. Mary Margaret rolls her eyes.

"Okay, Emma, you were a young girl once, you've had to at least think about your dream wedding one time."

"I spent most of my childhood thinking about where my next meal was coming from…"

"Emma, you have to help-"

"You know, too busy being neglected."

"Oh my god." Mary Margaret says softly and Emma shrugs, "You've really never thought about it?" Emma shakes her head, it's not really sad. Emma knew lots of girls back then who didn't care and never really did.

"If you could think about it now, what would come to mind?" David asks, serious and Emma shrugs again.

"Color scheme?" Mary Margaret suggests.

"White?"

"...Okay."

"I don't know, you're supposed to be planning it."

"Hey, do you really want to give her that much power?" David asks and then he's coming over, sitting next to her. "You went to ours right?"

"Ours was beautiful!" Mary Margaret exclaims, "What was wrong with it?"  
"I'm still paying for it."

"Weddings are supposed to be expensive."

"Not-I-can-now-only-afford-ham sandwiches-expensive." David says and then he kisses her cheek to make her feel better, "Now, I have to go." He stands up, grabs his coat and leaves.

"Hm." Mary Margaret thinks for a second, "What about caterers?"

"Granny."

"Good choice." Mary Margaret writes it down.

"You know we have a lot of time, right, don't even have a date."

"I know but it's best not to wait until the last minute." Mary Margaret says softly, "And then you're scrambling and it's a lot more stressful."

"Like when David forgot his tux?"

"Oh don't remind me of that fiasco. And then Graham got them both lost an hour before the wedding started."

"Ruby nearly knocking the cake over."

"Regina _actually_ knocking the cake over…" Mary Margaret sighs, "I still think she did that on purpose."

"No, if Regina wanted to ruin your wedding she'd have made a grander entrance."

"Are you inviting Neal?" Mary Margaret asks suddenly and Emma sits a little straighter. She hadn't thought about that. Would it be weird? It would be, it'd be really weird. Knowing Neal he probably wouldn't come but does she send an invitation anyways to be polite? Killian hates him, she feels like she should probably ask him.

"Can we put a pin in that for now?" Emma asks softly.

"He's the father of your child."

"Yeah, who cheated on me."

"Right…"

"It'd be...awkward and he'd probably bring Tamara," Emma says softly, which would be really awkward. As if he knew they were talking about him, he calls and Emma has to leave the room to answer it.

"Emma?" Neal questions.

"Yes, did you not look at the contact before you called? Is something wrong?" Thinking instantly that something is wrong with Henry. He just sighs.

"Yeah, everything's fine, Em."

"Okay. So what-"  
"Tamara and I are moving."

"Moving."

"Yes."

"Where?" Emma asks softly and he sighs again, "Neal."

"Seattle."

" _Seattle?_ " That's so far away. Oh. Oh no, "What are trying to tell me?"

"I can't take Henry every weekend after next month."

"You can't take him at all?"

"...I wouldn't say that."

" _Neal._ "

"Tamara wants to be closer to family and...I don't know, Emma. I wanted to do so many things before Henry, I can go back to school and get a degree a-"  
"And not have to worry about being a responsible parent."

"Emma-"

"You couldn't even tell me this face to face, what am I supposed to tell Henry?" She snaps, "Sorry, dad doesn't have time for you anymore, whoops."

"Now hold on a minute-"  
"No."

"I didn't say I'd never see him again," Neal says quickly and she shakes her head. Mary Margaret has risen from the couch, giving her a questioning look. Emma shakes her head at her as she begins to pace. This explains his sudden flakiness, he was trying to prepare her for _this bomb._

"You didn't have to," Emma says softly and she can feel her stomach twisting. Henry. He's going to be so heartbroken.

"He can visit a few times in the summer."

"That's all he gets, a couple days during the summer?"

"It's no different than what we're doing now."

"It's a hell of a lot different."

"You're making this bigger than what it is," Neal says, god he sounds so heartless like he's already decided this was happening, but it's not. He's not doing this.

"This is your last weekend with him."

"Emma-"

"And I want you to terminate your parental rights before you leave." Mary Margaret's eyes go wide.

"Emma." She says softly, "What's going on?" Emma shakes her head at her again.

"No!" Neal snaps, "Emma what the hell, he's my son?"

"Only a couple days out of the summer to you, apparently. And you've decided not to pick him up more than once already, and you're not taking my kid that far away from me, I don't care how long." It's quiet. He doesn't say anything and that tells her he's actually thinking about it. About terminating his rights and quite possibly never seeing Henry again.  
He sighs, "Fine."

"What?"

"I'll do it." He says softly, "But…"  
"What?"

"I get to call and talk to him and you have to keep me updated on how he's doing."

"You're telling him." She says, "I can't, I won't."

"Fine." And then he hangs up and Emma can't breathe she's so angry, her face is wet, tears. She didn't even realize she was crying.

"He just agreed to…" She can't even get it out, she thought she'd have to fight him on it, eventually agree on some other alternative, no. He just...agreed like she was asking him if he wanted creamer in his coffee.

"What can I do?" Mary Margaret asks softly.

"Can you call Killian?" She asks, barely audible because her heart is breaking. Henry is going to be so upset. Mary Margaret nods as she steers Emma towards the couch, clears away all the wedding stuff before she pulls out her phone.

* * *

A/N: Hey guys, sorry for the late update, I know it's short and not much has happened. Thanks for reading I hope you have a lovely day.  
Ps. Drop some baby name suggestions of the feminine variety and I might pick oooone~


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